


Dangerous Past

by FreakingOutGirl



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: After 2x13, F/M, Oliver falls for Felicity, felicity meets her father
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-10
Updated: 2014-04-08
Packaged: 2018-01-15 06:57:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 35,449
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1295680
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FreakingOutGirl/pseuds/FreakingOutGirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Felicity's father left her at a young age, but the man has deep connections with our hooded hero. Can Slade use that knowledge to tarnish their relationship or are Felicity's insecurities enough to make it crumble? After 2x13, will explore what we know that happens after that and a lot of what we want to happen after that. (Always Olicity!)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. It hurts

** Chapter 1 **

**It hurts**

 

* * *

She could hear their voices and the sound of their sparring.

She could hear the way Oliver's foot paced the ground, circling Sara, waiting for an opening.

She could hear Diggle giving his comments about their movements.

Roy's voice asking to be the next.

And she could hear her fingers tapping her computer absently.

For the first time she felt like an outcast. She knew she was being unreasonable, they needed her more than ever, but a small part of her, a part she confessed about to Oliver only recently couldn't stop from thinking if they could keep the same dynamics of the Team.

When, that morning she found Sara's jacket behind the salmon leader and Oliver's belt she didn't have to be the genius she was to put two and two together.

_And it hurt._

It hurt more than when he slept with Isabel, because Sara knew who he was, he didn't have to hide anything from her. And it hurt, it hurt so much she felt like for a second she couldn't breathe properly.

He guaranteed she would never lose him, he talked to her, thanking her for her confession after the bomb she dropped on him about Thea, but, he was never hers for her not to lose him, right? They were partners, and when he said those words she couldn't stop the warm feelings enveloping her body, but that was it, they were only partners…

And now Sara was back.

She liked Sara a lot, the woman was the toughest she knew, she didn't care about what others might think of her, she protected her family and Oliver and she liked him, she valued him.

_But it still hurt._

She knew what her answer was when Barry asked about her feelings for Oliver. She knew she was lying, she knew that what she felt wasn't just friendship; she didn't feel like that towards Diggle. But, just like she knew that, she knew that he didn't see her like that… but, at the same time, that tiny bit of hope at being the only woman that truly knew him always kept that nagging feeling in the back of her heart… ready to pounce whenever she least expected… and now that it did, at the vision of Sara and Oliver's things that were left behind, she just wanted to punch it until that feeling was once again well hidden in the depths of her heart.

She could hear now Roy's grunts and Sara's quick movements, the way she almost flew and how the younger boy was losing his patience.

Felicity turned off her computers, looked at her friends one last time and tried to make her exit as inconspicuous as ever and was successful. When she found herself inside her car, Felicity breathed deeply, commanded herself not to crumble and turned on the ignition.

* * *

"Are you sure about this? I thought we would go after Moira Queen." Sebastian said, observing the photos in front of Slade. All of them showed the same woman with a neat ponytail. In the majority of them she was walking beside two men, one of them Sebastian knew all too well. But you could see her alone in her apartment, in a book shop or just walking to the nearest coffee shop.

"I don't understand why we are following Oliver Queen's EA..."

"We are following her because she is important to our hooded friend and because of that connection I found out some very interesting things about Miss Smoak." his accent was more pronounced and Sebastian could feel the rage growing.

He didn't know why this apparently innocent woman could create such a reaction, but he made sure that he would observe the woman's actions the next time he popped into Queen Consolidated. Maybe a lunch between friends could be arranged and he would ask Miss Smoak to schedule it into Oliver's many meetings.

* * *


	2. The box

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first step into Felicity's past

** Chapter 2 **

**The box**

* * *

That first day was awkward… and the next ones were no better…

She could feel Oliver's eyes on her and even overheard his worried conversation with Diggle about her, but Felicity squared her shoulders and smiled at them, waving her goodbye at the end of every day. She knew she couldn't let her feelings get in the way of their friendship. Sara could be good for Oliver and that was what she kept repeating in her mind, like a mantra.

But when, that afternoon, Felicity arrived home to see a box in front of her door with her name impressed on it, she was far away from imagining just how much such a simple thing would be so life changing, not only concerning herself, but the rest of her friends' lives.

She grabbed it without a second thought. It was light and the sound when moved made it look like there were just papers inside.

After closing the door, Felicity left the box over her sofa, happy to change her formal clothes for leggings and a large hoodie. The irony was not lost on her.

While eating some leftovers, Felicity brought the box closer and opened it, while balancing her plate of food. However, when she saw what was inside the box, a clatter of chine echoed through the apartment, while her knuckles turned white with tension.

There were not simple papers inside the box, there were pictures and some manuscripts of scientific articles. She didn't recognize the handwriting… what she recognized was the face and the name written behind every one of those pictures. Anthony Smoak. Her father. He was with different people in those photos, that looked like they were taken for a long span of time, probably since he left her.

The last time she saw him she couldn't be older than five, she remembered that just days after that she started building her first computer. She remembered seeing him leave the house with a suitcase, while her mother eyed her with distaste.

"If you weren't born, I could go with him…" she spited and left the little girl in front of the window watching while the man she called daddy disappeared inside his car.

He had grey hair and a handsome face. His blue eyes just like his daughter's.

Felicity grabbed the photos, eyeing one by one.

And, after taking all of them out, she found a business card with an address and a phone number.

_Arthur Williamson_ , she read, and on the back the handwritten words **_In case of doubts_**.

Oh, she had lots of them. The most recent photo looked old and when she saw a calendar in a wall she was able to discern a place in time, seven years ago.

She felt her hand move from her own accord and try to reach the phone, but she stopped the movement. The words her mother said when she left home, echoing inside her mind. " _Finally, now I can be free."_ and that was the last time she saw her remaining parent.

Felicity shook her head, trying to get rid of those thoughts. It had been a long time since she let herself think about that, and now, in the middle of her emotional crisis that she was now in control, would not be a good time to remember.

However, the things in her lap intrigued her. Seeing her father after all these years made her heart beat in an unfamiliar way. He abandoned her and she would never forget that, but at the same time, she wanted to know why. _Why would he do something like that?_

For days she evaded the order in her mind: call the number.

Obviously, the first thing she did the next day, in the foundry, was run a check on the address. Apparently it was a normal lawyer firm, specialized in emigrant's rights. It was recent and worked in the ethical field. She couldn't find anything wrong with it, the taxes were paid, no sign of irregular activity. It looked too good to be true, actually. But if they were hiding something, they were good.

_She was starting to sound like Oliver._

And speaking of him...

"Are you okay?" Oliver's voice grabbed her attention while she was distracted and she couldn't stop herself from remembering the moment, a few days ago, when he made the same question in the exact same spot. And just like then, her answer was the same.

"I'm fine, just worried with some renovations I will have to do in my house… There are mice in there, not the house, but inside the walls, I think it was my neighbor's kid who let his pets escape and now the entire building has their own ghost inside the walls…" Felicity answered with an exasperated sigh.

She was not sure why she didn't tell him or Dig what was really happening. It was not an Arrow business, so why worry them when they had already so much in their plate? And now with Sara and Roy she sure didn't want to weaken the team with her personal problems. But, at the same time, lying made her feel bad. She never lies to Oliver, it was an unspoken rule, and she knows how much he hates people lying to him. However, telling him that small bit about her family was hard enough, and right now, she didn't want to share that painful past with him. She didn't want him to pity her!

And then, she saw the light. The longer she let it stay in her mind, the longer she wouldn't be able to give her best to the Team. She had to come to terms with her discoveries and face whatever it brought her.

"I'm sorry, but I have to go…" and without waiting for another word, she grabbed her things and left the lair.

However, before closing the door, she could distinctly hear Sara's voice asking what was wrong with her and Oliver's sigh. She didn't know what she felt about the other woman's worry, at some point she thought they were close friends, and she still felt they could be, but, that nagging feeling of not belonging, when she looked at them, didn't let her alone enough time to come to terms with the new team dynamics. Now was the time to face her problems and, after that, work towards a better relationship with the team.

 


	3. Oliver's thoughts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Oliver and Sara realize their mistake

** Chapter 3 **

**Oliver's thoughts**

* * *

 

"Hello?" she asked when the call was answered.

"Miss Smoak, I presume…" a heavily accented male voice answered. Could it be Australian maybe? She was not sure, but it didn't sound British…

"Yes, that's me…" and she wondered how the man might know who she was just from her voice… Well, another question to join the other thousands she had in her mind.

"Do you want to meet me and talk?" he asked and Felicity had to laugh.

"Sure, I will meet a very suspicious man in an unknown place that I'm pretty sure could not be so innocuous as it looks like to find out more about my estranged father… Not dangerous at all…" Felicity replied quickly.

From the other side a loud laugh emerged. She didn't know if it could characterized as happy or creepy and that made her fearful.

"Maybe this was not such a good idea…" she said and was ready to disconnect the phone call when the man spoke again.

"I'm sorry, I was being rude. I met your father years ago and he asked me to find you. When I returned to the United States I tried to get in touch, but your mother didn't give me any information about you… I just found you recently through some business associates that work with Queen Consolidated…" the man explained clearly, but Felicity couldn't shake that unsureness that was a constant companion since she started working with Oliver and Dig. "It's just that I'm relieved of finally finding you..."

"Mr. Williamson, I'm sure you know I can't just take your word in the matter through a phone call… I saw the pictures, but I want more information… What if we meet in a public place? Like… Starling City Museum? It has a garden if you want an outdoor view…" Felicity said, thinking that it would be easy to hack into the cameras if she needed any visual proof of her meeting with the man.

"I think it's perfect… What about tomorrow, 4 p.m.?" he asked and Felicity catalogued mentally what her work the next day would be. Oliver was free after 2 p.m. and there was nothing Arrow related that needed her expertise…

"Yes, I think it's good for me…" Felicity said.

"See you tomorrow then, Miss Smoak…"

"Until tomorrow, Mr. Williamson…"

After the phone call, Felicity stopped a moment to think. She was not sure if what she was doing was the right thing. For all she knew the man could be a criminal… She didn't find anything relevant about his work and his words about "business associates" intrigued her. Why would his associates talk about her?

She wanted to call Oliver or Diggle but something stopped her. _Was it pride?_ A necessity to work her own problems by herself? Neither of them were calling her to solve their personal issues, then why should she? They were friends, actually, more than that, but imagining the two of them hovering over her meeting or their constant words inside her ear through the earpiece wouldn't go well with her frame of mind. If she was in trouble she could easily call any of them, or even Sara or Roy to help her out…

* * *

"I will be going now…" Felicity said, her hand grabbing the door handle and her foot kicking the floor softly.

"Already?" Oliver looked at his clock to see it showed 3 p.m. and looked up to see her condescending little smile.

"I told you this morning I had to go, remember? And besides, for the last hour you were just reading emails and you don't have anything else scheduled… so, see you tomorrow…" she said and before Oliver could say anything else she left.

He scrunched his brow at her retreating form. She was acting weird and he was not the only one that noticed. Even Sara and Roy could see that… He knew Diggle tried to ask her what was going on, but she just smiled at him and said nothing… Which was worrisome… She never did not talk… and if she was trying to keep the words from pouring out of her mouth it meant she was worried or trying to keep something from them, like she did with his mother's secret.

For a moment he thought about following her, he even rose from his desk and was ready to call Diggle when a voice inside his head, too much like Felicity's, whispered its warning, telling him she would feel violated in her personal freedom.

And so, Oliver let his body fall once again, while contemplating his own life right now. He slept with Sara and it was just like he remembered, a few moments of numbing pleasure and oblivion, and then, the realization of what they did was wrong on so many levels. It was wrong towards Laurel, it was wrong towards their own evolution and it was wrong towards… _Felicity_ … And that was what hurt the most… _If she ever found out what happened…_ Oliver shook his head to get rid of the thought.

He and Sara realized their mistake as soon as they looked at each other.

* * *

_Sara sighed and rolled her eyes._

_"_ _We are so messed up… But I can't do this anymore. I love you, but I'm not in love with you, Ollie…" she sighed._

_"_ _I'm not in love with you either…" he sighed, his eyes far way._

_"_ _I can't do this to Laurel anymore… I want to make peace with her, I want to have my sister back… This is kind of a goodbye, don't you think? A last thing to say goodbye to the past…" Sara whispered and Oliver nodded._

_"_ _But we are friends…" Oliver said, making sure the mistake they made would not tarnish the friendship they developed._

_"_ _Of course we are…" Sara said and pulling her clothes back over her body she got up. "You were hurting and I was hurting and we gave some moments of oblivion to each other… but we have to learn how to talk about things with the people we love… I will try and talk with Laurel and you should talk with…" and then she trailed, like she was not sure of what was really happening to make him that sad._

_Oliver looked up. He didn't tell Sara about his mother's secret and Thea… and he couldn't… Diggle didn't know and Roy could never find out… Felicity was the one that shared that information with him, she was the only one that knew what was really happening inside his mind. The realization took his breathe away._

* * *

And now, here she was, hiding things from him. For some moments he wondered if she knew what happened between Sara and him. Maybe that's why she was so guarded. He remembered his words " _I just think that it's better to not be with someone that I could_ _really_ _care about_ " after the Russia's fiasco. If she knew, she would be feeling betrayed.

 _"_ _But why?_ " wondered his inner voice.

 _"_ _You are such a fool, Oliver Queen"_ he sneered at himself. It was obvious, but he didn't want to face that truth right now. It wouldn't be fair to her…

Sighing, Oliver stood up and grabbed his jacket and belonging. He called Roy and scheduled a very lengthy training, he was going to need it and the kid would be the perfect adversary.


	4. The Meeting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The meeting of Felicity and Slade

** Chapter 4 **

**The meeting**

* * *

"Interesting choice of art." a voice suddenly said from her left and Felicity jumped. Damn her self-awareness! Roy already made fun of her because of that.

She turned around to see a man with greyish hair, he was handsome with a strong body and a dominating presence. He made her think of Oliver. The only thing that diverged from a perfect image of a business man was the eye patch. It creeped her out a bit.

"Mr. Williamson?" Felicity asked and he nodded with a small smile.

"Miss Smoak." he said and when her name fell from his lips his smile grew, like he was remembering an inside joke. "Interesting choice of artwork." he repeated and Felicity looked at him curiously. What was the man talking about?

"Your father was a fan of Japanese art." the man replied and Felicity didn't miss the past tense used.

"Maybe we should talk in the garden." she said softly, if a bit sadly, and without waiting, Felicity turned around and walked out, deep in thoughts.

_So her father was dead_ , she thought, at least according to the man's words. It made sense somehow, if he was alive Williamson would send her her father's contact and not only his pictures. And besides, there was the fact that the most recent picture dated from seven years ago. She wasn't sure what her feelings about that could be described as… he was her father, but he left her with a negligent mother, that only talked to her to whine about having to put up with her idiosyncrasies and faults of character. Felicity breathed deeply, trying to forget the painful memories; they would do her no good.

The man joined her before she had time to put up her calm mask once again and he squeezed her hand in a fatherly manner that made her ache.

He guided her towards a bench, her hand still inside his, and for those seconds she pretended everything was alright. She couldn't remember why she was so scared of this man.

"So, you knew my father..." Felicity said when the both of them sat beside a blueberry bush.

The man nodded, releasing her hand and arranging his suit.

"He was a scientist. He worked in the genetic field. _And I'm sure you noticed my use of the past_." he said and the woman nodded. "That's why you look so sad… I met your father a few years ago. We had some common friends and we developed a friendship. He told me about this daughter he had. A girl he loved dearly, but that he couldn't be with because her mother didn't let him. I know that he tried to take you with him."

"He tried to take _me_ , but not my mother..." Felicity said slowly and Williamson nodded.

"She was obsessed with him and wouldn't give up. And one day he was the one that gave up." Arthur said and Felicity took some time playing with her jacket.

"Here..." he said, extending a photo towards Felicity. "He died clutching it."

"What?" she whispered. "You saw him die?" she asked, suddenly afraid.

"He was sick for a long time." Arthur said and Felicity took the photo. It was of her and her father. They were in their front yard. She couldn't remember taking it.

"How and when did it happen?" Felicity asked.

And the man started his story. She tried to imprint into her brain the most part of the information so she could check it. She might believe this man, until now he had all the answers, and he made her feel calm during the little walk, but she wasn't working with the Arrow for nothing. It was already ingrained in her the necessity of verification. And she would do it as soon as she reached Verdant.

Her father was working with a Japanese university, studying human genetics and their influence in some diseases. Williamson met him through his lawyer company when some ethical issues arose. They were fast friends, a friendship that prolonged through the years, until Anthony Smoak found out he had cancer.

"Call it irony if you want." Arthur said and Felicity sighed.

"Mr. Williamson, this is a lot to take in. I think it's better if I head home." she said, already rising and the man rose as well.

"If you have any doubts, if you want more information, or if you just want someone to talk about your work day, you can call me. I promised your father I would help you if I could find you. Hopefully I still can. But, if you are anything like your father, I know you can take care of yourself. _You don't need a knight to save you_." the man said and grabbing her hand he kissed her knuckles.

Felicity nodded and walked away.

As soon as she was far away he reached for his phone. It was lightly vibrating inside his pocket.

"It was a success." he said. "She doesn't have a clue."

He could still see her blonde ponytail in the distance and he smiled cruelly.

* * *

**That's Slade for you, the king of mind games. In my point of view he spent all these years planning his revenge and during that time he learned how to control himself, how to act like a snake instead of a bull (I kind of like this comparison). And he knows he has to win Felicity's trust so she will believe him.**


	5. The clock starts ticking

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first attack of the Clock King

  


* * *

Felicity wasn't sure what to think.

When she got to Verdant that same day, she started researching about her father. She could have done that years ago, but that feeling of abandonment was too strong for far too long, and now, that she had some kind of clue it would be easier than if she didn't know anything. She typed her father's name and found some documents in Japanese that looked like a death certificate, with her father's picture annexed. Pulling up a translator she started to decode the documents. It was right, all the information checked with what the man told her, and she felt her body fall against her chair.

It was true, her father was really dead. Unless all this was fake, but then how could the man have a photo of her as a child with her father in their front yard? Or why would he lie to her? She was a nobody… Closing the screens, she sighed. She was being paranoid and she blamed Oliver and Dig for that.

_Speaking of the devil..._

Footsteps echoed from the lair stairs and she turned around in her chair to see Sara approaching with her leather clothes. Behind her, Roy walked with his hands inside his jacket pockets. A few seconds later, Oliver and Dig appeared, talking with each other in low voices.

"Hey Felicity!" Sara said, while taking her mask.

Since the day she found their clothes, Felicity didn't see anything that resembled a romantic relationship between Oliver and Sara, but she was not sure if they weren't just more aware of the place they were in. They confused her and she hated being confused. It was not a Felicity Smoak trait. And she didn't like that her mind took that walk once again. Oliver was not hers, Oliver had no relationship with her, he could be with whoever he wanted to be, so it was time to let it rest. Just like Williamson said, she didn't need a knight to save her.

"Hey." Felicity said, her mind still far away to show a proper greeting.

"Is everything alright?" Roy asked surprisingly and she looked at Oliver to see a smug smile that clearly said " _even the kid noticed_ ".

"Yes, everything is fine. So, what do you bring me?" Felicity asked, ready to make some ruckus in some bad guy's bank account, but Diggle stepped forward, with his hands inside his pockets in a calm demeanor.

"Nothing, actually. The city was eerily calm. You can go home for the night and rest. We are going to train a little bit." he said and smiled at her, expecting her to be happy about that.

"Oh, sure." Felicity said, trying to answer with her own smile.

She didn't want to show her disappointment, shamed that she needed the work to keep her mind from replaying Williamson's words. But the worst part, not that she was sad the bad guys decided to take a break, was that it showed that stark difference between the rest of the team and her. They could train with each other, not that Diggle didn't try to train her, but he would never take her as serious as he did with the rest of the group, they patrolled the city together, while all she did was stay behind her computers. And that cold feeling she felt the last time she saw them train returned once again. She swallowed and got up. Now that she wanted, needed even, to keep her mind occupied and from thinking about her father she had to go home and be by herself with her complex thoughts.

"Well, I will catch up on my Game of Thrones…" she said, trying to keep her voice light.

Oliver was watching all the way, while she tried to keep up the pretenses, and he was not fooled. He considered himself an expert in reading Felicity's mood these days. And he was tired of her hiding things from him.

"Felicity..." Oliver said in a low growl. "What the hell is going on?"

She thought about saying "Nothing", but his voice made her rethink her plan A and jump into plan B, which she hated.

"You know what it is. Remember the family talk? I'm just worried about my mother. She has been kind of weird..." she said and hoped he would catch up. Of course he did and she hated herself for using that to keep things from him, she saw how his face froze and he nodded.

_Her mother…_ Oliver hated that woman even without knowing her. He realized through Felicity's words and tone while talking about her that she was not a role model and someone that made her feel his IT girl like that deserved his rage. He wondered what the woman might have done and felt the need to touch Felicity and assure her that everything would be alright. But he controlled himself, he had made a promise to himself that he would never cross that line, it would be too dangerous for her. _And if he lost her…_

"Of course, let me know if there is anything I can do." he answered, trying to transmit through his tone his feelings, and she felt a sudden desire to tell him the truth. But she didn't. She didn't want to burden him anymore than he already was and besides there wasn't anything else he could do, he couldn't raise the dead or turn back in time.

"Goodbye guys! Sara, don't hurt them too much!" she said, keeping her mask in place. She was starting to be really good at that, she might rival Oliver someday…

* * *

"Starling National Bank is still a place under observations. The SCPD didn't make any comments about the situation, but sources informed us the cameras stopped working during the robbery and the injured security man was taken to Starling City Central."

Felicity was already asleep in front of her TV when the news appeared and the low volume didn't woke her up.

"Our sources say the robbery was meticulously timed. The robbers are already being called, by the forces, the Clock Kings."

* * *

**I used "Clock Kings" because at the time the police didn't know it was only a man, so they used the plural...**

**So, what do you think? Tell me in a review! ;)**


	6. System Failure

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clock King attacks

  


* * *

"Felicity!" Oliver's voice echoed through the lair and she looked up.

"I'm already on it!" she replied, without turning around.

As soon as she woke up that morning, the news bombarded her and she ran to the lair to start the investigation. She knew Walter would be affected by these events and even if she was a bit mad with him for lying to her, he was still a friend.

"Good. I'm going to see Walter and check how everything is going. Diggle will be here shortly, so if you find anything we can work quickly." Oliver said. He sighed and turned around to leave.

"Let Walter know that I'm sorry. And that it didn't change my opinion of him." Felicity said and Oliver looked at her confused.

"Just tell him that." she said and without waiting any longer she started typing once again.

* * *

"Shouldn't you rest a bit? It's almost 9 p.m." Diggle said and Felicity shook her head.

"You can go if you want." Felicity said.

"Felicity..." Diggle sighed. "I have been wanting to talk to you... About your behavior... Oliver noticed and he is worried." Diggle said and Felicity had to bit her lip to keep herself from answering.

"You know he worries about you, but with everything that is happening: Roy's change, Sara's return... It's been too much too quick.." Diggle said and Felicity couldn't stop the thought that her friend was acting like Oliver's defense lawyer.

"I don't know what you guys have been talking about when you think I can't see you, but everything is fine." Felicity said, while her eyes flew over the screen.

"So you are saying that I didn't see you finding the remains of Oliver and Sara's _actions_ and leaving this place, returning one hour later?" Diggle asked.

Felicity eyed him with incredulity and shock.

"I was next to the medicine cabin. When I saw your expression I went to see what was there and I found it."

"So it was you that took it..." Felicity whispered and Dig nodded.

He opened his mouth to say something else when all the screens changed. A warning message blaring in front of Felicity.

"Oh no!" she gasped and her fingers turned into a blur of activity almost making John dizzy. She cursed under her breath, while her eyes flew over her screens, a cold sweat running through her back. This could not be happening, her system was impenetrable. She had to stop it! If he entered he would take control and he would find out about her work and researches and even if there was nothing in there that could implicate directly Oliver, whoever it was would know she was working with the Arrow and where she was. Verdant would be implicated and then Thea as the owner and finally Oliver. She had only one option since she was unable of stopping him.

"I'm sorry." Felicity whispered, before stroking a few keys. The system started overheating, sparks flew from her computers, the lights tingled and exploded.

"Felicity!" Diggle yelled and grabbed her, pulling her from the sparks.

And then, everything was suddenly quiet.

Her breath came in raspy puffs of air and behind her, Diggle was looking around, trying to make sense of what just happened.

"Felicity?" he said once again, this time with a doubtful tone.

"Call Oliver right now!" she said in a hard tone. She walked away from him towards her desk. She could hear Dig's voice speaking with Oliver and she could imagine his disappointed face. _It was her own fault!_ Because of her failure their job was now much harder, she was unable of keeping up with this person! She failed them!

When Oliver arrived her words were hollow.

"I tried entering the bank's computer to follow the signal from the person that disconnected the cameras and the doors. I found him, but before I could do anything I was caught and our system suffered an attack. I had to auto destroy it before someone could find the location and the files in it." Felicity explained, simplifying what was a much more complexe situation. "I don't know how he did it." she admitted.

She wouldn't be surprised if he shouted at her, and that's why his next words surprised her so much.

"Felicity!" Oliver called. She could feel him right in front of her. "Don't worry, we are going to find him." his warm words and the strong hand squeezing her shoulder made her feel worse. She was the one that messed up and he was the one assuring her. She bit her lip to stop herself from screaming and nodded simply. They were her babies, her beloved computers, the things that helped her through her teen years and her mother's lack of maternal concern.

"There is nothing we can do tonight." Oliver sighed, clearly worried about her lack of reaction. "You should get some rest. Do you want me to take you home?" he asked and Felicity shook her head. It was obvious from her tired eyes she needed it and he would gladly take her home, just to make sure she arrived safely.

"I have my car. And don't worry, tomorrow morning I will restart everything!" she vowed and before any of the men could say anything, she was already out of reach.

The two men watched her leave, frowns stuck to their faces, their eyes following her figure until she disappeared behind the door.

"I'm worried about her, Oliver." Diggle said in a low voice. It was obvious how much the man worried about Felicity, like an older brother and Oliver wanted to answer, but couldn't.

So, he sighed, his hands squeezing his hair. He kicked a chair and saw it fly against the wall.

His friend watched him lose his composure, but didn't say a word. He was already used to Oliver's explosions when it concerned Felicity and not for the first time he wished he had found the clothes first and hide them from view.

* * *

**It's different than the show's situation since I made Felicity auto destroy her system. Just imagine how painful it would be for someone like her to have to destroy her computers, the things she loves and that, probably, for the first time in her life, made her feel special.**


	7. The Clock King

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Felicity vs The Clock King (my own view of it)

  


* * *

* * *

When Felicity arrived home the first thing she saw was the box. She kept it always at arm's length, afraid of losing it. She heard the man, she made her research, and she couldn't stop the thoughts about her father. Could he be that good man that Arthur talked about? Was he so tired, so unhappy with her mother that he had to escape? She believed that, she really did. She just hoped she was not being naive just because someone told her her father loved her.

"I'm pathetic." she sighed. "So much going on and here I am, allowing in self-pity." she scoffed at herself. And rising up she vowed to herself that she would find who that person was, she would make sure that he or she paid. No one messed with Felicity Smoak's computers.

"Maybe I should talk more with Mr. Williamson after this is taken care of." she said to herself, while taking care of her bonsai.

Yes, she would do that. She wanted to know more about her father, what he was like, about his job, if he talked about her... She needed that to fill this hole she just realized she had.

Smiling with her new found objective, she walked towards her bedroom to a well-deserved rest.

* * *

The next days were a true survival test to Felicity. While keeping her facade as EA, she used all her free time to upgrade her system, surviving with two hours of sleep during the night and running every program she knew and others she created to keep her computers from being entered ever again. _She would show who the best was!_

"Felicity, you should sleep. You are really pale!" Oliver said a week after the system failure incident. Another robbery happened, but once again they were too late. Oliver was in a bad mood and when, Felicity said her next words he rolled his eyes at her.

"You should go. You don't want to be late for the Lances."

Felicity noticed his demeanor, but, loyal to her own vow of keeping herself from that situation she didn't say everything that was wrong with Oliver going to dinner with Sara, Laurel and their parents. He said it was moral support in case Laurel had some kind of break, but Felicity wasn't so sure if the thing broken by the end of the night wouldn't be his face by Laurel's fist. And she knew Dig tried to talk him out of going, but apparently, self-protection was really not one of Oliver's traits. She just hoped Quentin would be able to stop something from happening. She didn't know Mrs. Lance so she couldn't be sure if she would be able of breaking a sisters fight, but maybe that's what they needed, to lose all the steam.

"Well, I will be going now. If you find anything tell us, okay?" Oliver said and Felicity nodded, closing her eyes when she felt his hands squeezing her shoulders. He stayed there for a moment longer than normal and then, sighing, he left.

* * *

"Yes! I'm the Queen! I mean, not a Queen like Oliver, no, just a queen of hacking!" Felicity said, to herself, looking around to make sure no one was there. Not that she needed it, Roy was upstairs working, Diggle was patrolling and Oliver and Sara were probably in the main course.

As soon as she was able of working she started digging everything that could connect the two banks, but it was too vague. One thing she knew, the person was incredibly intelligent. So, probably had a specialization in this field. She started putting every student of Starling from the last 40 years in grades hierarchy. Then, she tried to connect any of them to the banks. Through accounts, friends, family. Anything worked. And then, when she was almost giving up, she found it. There was a connection. There was one individual that had shares in both banks. He was a doctor as well and one of the primary shareholders of the banks. But the important part was that he had as patient one of the most brilliant students. She was mesmerized by his accomplishments, they were very similar to her owns.

"Oh!" she gasped. She just found an email between the doctor and the patient where the latter was asking for explanations. Apparently he was diagnosed with a terminal disease by mistake. And the doctor didn't want to be responsible for the man's fate after the news.

Felicity found the man's address and grabbed her phone to call Oliver. But she stopped. What if this man was innocent? He just had a shock of finding he was dying to, sometime later, find out it was all a mistake. Maybe she could talk with him, find something without involving Oliver. She could do it, it was a simple investigation, and she didn't need a knight to save her.

* * *

When she arrived at William Tockman's house she found herself in front of a big house, much bigger than she thought it would be. She walked around it, trying to peek through the windows.

The house was dark and looked empty.

When she entered the back yard, Felicity found herself face to face with a desolated place. The grass was yellow, the trash accumulated around the place and she could swear she saw a rat running through the thrown away objects.

She walked towards the back door. It was closed. And she couldn't know if the house had a security system. In fact, she wanted to keep her system away from this man, he couldn't attack anymore, but he could sense the danger and run, which explained her lack of information, which she hated.

And then a cold feeling took care of her. She just thought about security inside the house, if there was any. What if he had it outside? Could this trash just be for a play? She didn't know, but when she heard the metal clicking of a gun, she had her answer.

"Once upon a time, there was a blonde girl who entered a bears' house. She ate their food. She slept in their bed. And when the bears arrived, they ate her. Because she entered their house. Now, this leaves us with a problem. What should I do with this blonde girl over here?" a cold voice said from behind her and Felicity berated herself.

"I'm just lost. My car broke and since your house is a bit isolated I couldn't find anywhere else to go." Felicity said quickly, trying to keep her voice leveled.

"Sure, goldy locks, that's why you entered the back yard instead of ringing the bell." the man said sarcastically. "Now move!" he said, pointing to the now open door.

Felicity tripped and stepped into the house. He made her walk down some stairs until she was in front of another open door. When she saw what was inside she gasped. The man had under surveillance a radius of one mile around his house. She could see people doing their normal things while she observed them under the barrel of a gun.

"It's never too late to be prepared." Tockman said and Felicity felt him moving behind her.

"You don't have to do this! I know they made a mistake, but shouldn't you be happy for being alive? Are you ready to say goodbye to everything you have?" Felicity tried to make him see the light, but apparently it was the wrong thing to do. She saw his face change in range. His muscles tremble with barely suppressed anger.

"They took everything from me! My family didn't want to see me die, so they left! I had no money, only this house that no one wanted to buy! I was alone for four years, allowing in self-pity, hating the world, hating myself! And you think I'm happy? My wife forgot about me, my son doesn't know me! I have to make him pay! I will take everything that is dear to him, first the money then his reputation. And then his family. When it happens he won't even know what hit him!"

Felicity realized the _he_ was the doctor and couldn't stop the pity she felt towards the two men.

"But you didn't steal only from him." Felicity said and the man laugh.

"When I see an opportunity I seize it. Timing is everything..." he said and with a quick move he tried to stick a syringe in her neck. But she was quicker, she jumped back, hitting one of the monitors and gasped with the pain. He tried to come at her again, but Felicity ran. She grabbed one of the monitors and tried to smack it to his head. And then all hell broke lose. They started trying to fight each other, kicking and punching whatever they could find, wrestling to see who would win the syringe, she could feel adrenaline running inside her veins and Dig's voice whispering advices inside her ear.

And then the bang echoed through the basement.

Felicity walked back a few steps eyeing the red mark unfocused, she had forgot about the gun.

She could feel the acrid smell.

And then the pain.

She watched while her white blouse turned redder with each second. And in front of her the man fell with the needle stabbed into his neck.

She felt her body starting to lose strength and fell towards the floor. Stretching her arm to grab her fallen bag, she fished her phone out. She wanted to call Oliver, she wanted to hear him say everything would be alright, even if she was still a bit disappointed at him, she needed to hear him. But then, she remembered Malcolm Merlyn.

She was so tired... even moving the fingers over the screen made her breathless...

And the dark was winning over her vision...

But she had to make that call...

* * *

Oliver was sitting in front of Laurel and Sara, so tense he was sure he would be sore in the morning. He should have heard Diggle. Coming here definitely wasn't a good idea. He could see Dinah by his right, and Quentin by his left, with the two sisters side by side ignoring each other. Not for the first time he wondered what Felicity might be doing. He liked imagining her in front of the TV watching Game of Thrones and eating mint and chocolate ice cream and he had to suppress the desire of wanting to be with her. The silence was oppressive, the only noise the sound of the silverware and chewing mouths. _It was driving him crazy._

Suddenly, Quentin's phone started ringing. The man took it from his pocket ready to let it go to voicemail when he saw the name. Jumping from the table he ran to the hallway. He was expecting a call like that for the last days. Dinah watched him with a frown over her forehead.

" _Detective…_ " he heard a gasp as soon as he answered the phone and his heart started hammering inside his chest. " _Found… Clock King… Woodland Lane 53… I...shot… ambulance… he syringe… please…"_ and then silence.

"Miss Smoak! Miss Smoak!" he called, but no one answered.

Instantly he called his colleagues, making sure an ambulance was sent as well. He felt his blood run cold imagining the woman hurt in any way.

"I'm sorry, but I have to go… A friend had an accident…" Quentin said, reentering the kitchen with one of his arms inside the jacket and the other searching for his keys. And before anyone could say anything he ran out, leaving behind four people with different expressions of confusion.

"Wow, not even dad could wait for this to end…" Laurel said in a cold voice and Dinah's expression froze.

"We are going to end the meal in peace!" she said in such a commanding voice no one was brave or stupid enough to say something.

However, Oliver's eyes followed the man's retreating figure and checked his phone subtly. There was no call or message from Felicity.

* * *

"I need to know where Felicity Smoak is. She was brought here with a gunshot wound. Blonde. Mid-twenties…" Lance said, as soon as he reached the service desk.

"Quentin!" someone called from behind and turning around he found one of his former colleagues. "You are here because of that blonde girl?"

Lance nodded and the other man's expression fell.

"She is in a bad state. She is in surgery now… to take out the bullet and control the damages. I heard something about broken ribs and other injuries… That girl was damn lucky for knowing you… Fifteen minutes later and we would find a corpse… But still… she isn't out of danger yet…" the man said and Quentin felt like someone just punched him in the gut.

_What the hell was that girl thinking about? Trying to take down a lunatic_ _by herself ? Where was the Arrow?_ Yes, because he was sure this had something to do with him. He just didn't understand how the man could let her go by herself. Was she trying to prove something?

Lance sighed and noticing the nurse following their conversation he asked one last thing.

"Could you give me Miss Smoak's emergency contact, please?"

* * *

**Sorry for the cliffhanger... But I really liked ending it here...**

**Next chapter: how Oliver reacts to the news...**

**Did you like how I portrayed them?**

**I was a bit more physical than they will be in the show, probably, and with that picture of Sara and Felicity that was released, I wanted Felicity to take him down by herself, without anyone protecting her.**

**What do you think? Please, tell me in a review! ;)**


	8. Regret

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oliver's reaction

 

While the former detective drove back home, the nurse's words kept echoing inside his mind.

"No one" she said when he asked for Miss's Smoak emergency contact.

"What?" he had replied, not really understanding what she was saying.

"That woman doesn't have an emergency contact and has no family members listed in her file. Apparently, she is all by herself." The nurse said, with a hint of pity in her voice.

For some moments, Quentin stood there, looking at the nurse's face, but not seeing her. His mind was far away, trying to understand how someone like Felicity Smoak had no one to share that bright and bubbly energy. Truth be said, sometimes he wondered if the relationship she had with Queen was a normal CEO and EA's relationship; he noticed some looks shared between the two that spoke louder than words, but, he never thought of Felicity as the kind of woman who would have a secret affair with her playboy billionaire boss.

And now, finding out she had no one to care for her…

He was lost about his next course of action, so he spent the majority of the drive fighting against the idea he had while still in the hospital. That idea wasn't his favorite by far, but he couldn't let her alone at the hospital without telling anyone that knew her what happened… What if the worst happened and she had no one to take her care of her things?

When Quentin entered the house he had his eyes downcast, still fighting with himself. He really didn't want to do this now, especially in front of his family, but he felt like he had to.

"Queen!" Quentin called, when he found them still sitting around the table.

"Quentin! I thought you were going to help someone… You just left 40 minutes ago…" Dinah said, rising to get herself a glass of wine.

"Queen…" the former detective said once again, ignoring his ex-wife words. "I need to talk to you…"

Oliver turned around to see the man's expression and all the blood left his face. The former detective had a mask over his face that tried to conceal and failing, the pain and regret in there.

"What happened?" he asked and Lance pointed towards the hallway.

Oliver rose up immediately and followed the man mechanically. Something happened… something that connected with that friend Quentin was going to help… he was sure of it…

"There was an… accident…" Lance said, unsure of how he could explain the situation to Oliver. "Miss Smoak was attacked… did you hear about that Clock King guy? Well… he shot her…" Quentin said and Oliver felt like his lungs collapsed. He couldn't hear his own thoughts, the blood rushing through his head was deafening everything but his heart. He was so good at keeping himself and his emotions under control, but now, that controlo was sipping from his fingers like mist.

"Where is she?" Oliver asked, trying to control his voice, but the last word came out as a strangled growl that made Quentin step back.

"She is in Starling Central…" he replied and he looked like he wanted to say something else, but Oliver didn't let him.

He couldn't breathe. _What the hell was going on? Felicity was shot? Why didn't she call him? Why did she have to go? What if…? No no no!_

Oliver turned around and ran. He had to see her, he had to make sure she was alright. He didn't see the worried faces of the women or heard Quentin's yells. All he could see was her face so sad during the last days, sighing when she thought no one noticed, and her voice calling him, berating him… why didn't he try to get through her? Why did he decide to give her time? Now he could lose her and for what? A stupid mistake? Some reckless action? A word not said?

"Dad?" Laurel called after the door closed and Quentin looked at his daughters.

"Miss Smoak… Queen's EA... was shot by the Clock King…" Quentin explained.

Laurel's expression fell, even if she couldn't understand the relationship between those two, she could see that the woman was important to Oliver. Sara's face palled and she had to put her hand in front of her mouth to keep from gasping. Neither Laurel nor Dinah saw her reaction, but Quentin did and a flash thought passed through his mind. Miss Smoak worked with the Arrow, his daughter worked with the Arrow, so the two women probably knew each other, they could be friends even. And knowing like that that a friend was injured and couldn't react accordingly because of the mask she had to keep…

And then he remembered Oliver's expression, the panic that rose behind his irises, the lack of control… He didn't know why there was no one in Miss Smoak's emergency contact, but at least, she had someone to care for her… even if it was that good for nothing Queen.

* * *

"Where is she?!" Oliver yelled, facing the nurse that frightfully tried to understand who he was talking about. " _Felicity Smoak!_ She was shot! Where is she?"

"A blond woman? She is in surgery… But, wait, you can't go there!" the nurse yelled, but Oliver was already running. No one would stop him from finding Felicity and if someone tried they would meet his fists.

He ran through the stairs, too furious and frightened to wait for the elevators. He had to keep moving. Stopping meant thinking and thinking meant remembering and remembering meant pain… and Felicity…

When the surgery block appeared in front of him, Oliver was ready to open the door and enter. However, he was stopped by a strong and tall man that grabbed his arms.

"Hey, you can't enter!" the man said, and for some moments they struggled against each other. "Do you want me to arrest you? You wouldn't be able to see whoever you want to see!"

Oliver heard the words and for some moments wanted to keep struggling, just for the thrill of it, but then, the true meaning of his words reached his brain and he stepped back, trying to regain his breathe. In front of him was a detective, he remembered seeing the man with Lance a couple of times.

"Oliver Queen?" the detective asked and Oliver nodded. "Who is it you want to see?"

"Felicity Smoak…"

"Oh... the girl that was shot…" the man said and Oliver felt another pang inside his chest. "I'm the one that found her… She is a tough one… _but_ …" the man trailed and Oliver felt his rage disappear. That word " _but_ ", so tiny, felt so powerful in that moment… _But she might not live… But we were too late… But there was a mistake…_

He couldn't stop the ranging thoughts from flying through his mind.

"The doctor said that as soon as he had answers he would come here." the detective said.

Oliver could feel the curious stare of the man. If it was regarding a CEO worried about his EA or what he might know about Felicity's involvement with the Clock King he couldn't know and sure as hell wouldn't ask.

For half an hour they stood there, looking at everything beside each other. His heart never calmed and every little noise made him look towards the door in front of him, until someone really came, but from the opposite direction.

"Oliver!" that someone called and he turned around to see Diggle, Sara and Roy walking towards him.

He should have called Dig, he knew that, but in his induced panic reaction he barely remembered his name. And a pang of guilt shook his heart, Diggle deserved to know through him, they were a team, friends, people that had to build public personas and keep the true ones hidden, and only showing them to each other, in the basement of a night club, but his thoughts couldn't stride more than the distance between him and the door keeping him from Felicity. And so, he didn't call and he failed his friends once again.

_He was failing everyone these days..._

"I called Diggle." Sara explained and Oliver nodded absently, his mind too jumbled to come up with a reply.

"The kid wanted to come too." Diggle said, pointing towards Roy, who was by Dig's side, his hands inside his pockets and a worried expression over his face.

"How is Barbie?" he asked, and not for the first time, Oliver felt mad at the nickname. But now was not the time nor place to bring it up and he really didn't have the strength to do that.

"She is in surgery. The doctor said he would come here when it ends." Oliver said with a detached voice.

It would be easier if he pretended he was not Oliver Queen and she wasn't Felicity Smoak, that she wasn't important to him, the thing that kept him going. He would pretend they were just CEO and EA and that would make it easier… At least he hoped… But he couldn't, he couldn't make that choice, her life was too intricate with his own and even if he tried to pretend just to himself and to make the pain more bearable, he couldn't…

"Why the hell would she do that? Why not call us?" Diggle whispered, too low for the detective to hear.

But none of them had any answer, and so, they sat in the plastic chairs, observing the floor in front of them.

Around midnight the detective excused himself and left the hospital, with the promise to return the next day, or later that day...

For more two hours they waited, until finally appeared a doctor. His white clothes looked too pristine and Oliver wondered if he had changed from the blood soaked ones to greet them… and he cringed…

"Who is here for Felicity Smoak?" he asked and the four of them rose, with Oliver heading the way.

If the man thought they looked like a weird group he didn't show it, instead directed his speech to all of them.

"Miss Smoak is stable. However, the next hours will be of great risk. She lost too much blood and the damages were expansive. Now, everything is in her hands." he said.

"When can we see her?" Oliver asked. The doctor thought for some seconds, looking between the scared faces of the four and then answered.

"One of you can come with me now. You won't be able to enter the room, but you can see her from afar" the doctor said with a soothing voice.

Oliver looked around, especially at Dig, but his friend pushed him forward.

"You should go…" Diggle whispered in that tone that gave no space to doubts.

And so, Oliver followed the man through the empty hallways.

"She is a fighter." the doctor said, when they stopped in front of a glass wall.

Oliver hissed at the sight.

In front of him, Felicity was laid on a bed. Her glasses were nowhere to be seen. Her hair was in a tangled mess far away from her neat ponytail. Her face was a mesh of purple and yellow. And the only sound he could hear was the biping of her heartbeat. The machines around her making her look smaller and frailer than she was. He could see her split lip and the bandages around her ribs, but what caught and kept his attention was the place where he knew she was shot. He didn't know how something small like that could change someone's perspective so suddenly, but it sure did.

Oliver would have stayed there, glued to the spot if the doctor didn't drag him away.

However, his distance could not be kept for long.

During that night and the ones that followed, Starling City criminals had a reprieve from the Arrow, at least the real one.

If someone knew to search in a blonde woman's hospital bedroom, they would find him there, observing. He was protecting her, keeping any harm from coming her way. He would do that and so much more if she just opened her eyes.

* * *

**A very heavy Oliver chapter, but I think he needed that wake up call to realize he couldn't continue like that.**

**And if you are wondering why Felicity had no one as her emergency contact, I believe she would want to keep all kind of rumours away from Oliver and Diggle, and she before all the Arrow business she had no one, so she didn't change it afterwards, besides, I really wanted Quentin to be the one to tell Oliver.**

**And about Oliver losing control I think it's more about he being unable to do something, when Felicity was kidnapped he knew he could do something to help her, but in this situation he was powerless, and a powerless Oliver Queen is not a happy man.**


	9. Heart and Soul

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oliver and Felicity have a deep, honest conversation about what happened.

"Oliver..." a soft and _oh so familiar_ voice penetrated his foggy brain to arose him from sleep. And then he opened his eyes suddenly when the true meaning of what was happening reached his mind.

Her blue eyes were open and were watching him.

"Felicity..." he breathed, his hand squeezing hers.

He felt her other hand move and touch his face. He saw her wrinkle her face and imagined how bad he looked, but right now, there was no way he could worry about that. _She was awake!_

Her face was no longer a mesh of purple, the bruises were yellowing, but he could still remember how they looked that first night, when he saw her unconscious.

"Oliver..." she called once again and Oliver heard behind his name all the questions she didn't say. _What happened? Why am I here? Why are you here?_

And he felt his rage grow once again. He wanted to shake her and make her realize the stupidity of what she did. And at the same time, he wanted to hug her against his chest and never let her go. The two desires clashed like titans and the result was a strangled question.

"Why, Felicity?" he asked simply, without showing the war inside his mind.

"I thought it would be simple and I wanted to show that you could count on me for other kind of work. That I could be like you." she said softly, her eyes piercing him like daggers. And Oliver deflated like a balloon.

She did that because of them. She did that because she felt she had something to prove. Because she felt left out. Oliver knew he should have talked to her after Sara's return, he should have realized how she really felt. He should have done a lot of things and not the ones he did…

"Please tell me you didn't put yourself in danger because you thought you had something to prove. Please, tell me you think better of yourself. Tell me that you didn't thought yourself so low that we only saw you as an IT girl." Oliver asked and Felicity could see the sadness in his eyes. She could feel the way his thumb caressed her hand in slow circles, while he tried to come up with the right words to say what was inside his mind.

"What I do, who I am, can easily be done by Diggle or Roy or Sara. They can fight. But what you do, who you are, no one can replace that. We fight for people's safety, but it's you that keep us alive to do that. It's you that is always worried about what to do next. It is you that make us smile in that darkness that surrounds us." Oliver said. "Did you ever imagine what would be of us if something happened to you? And not because of your brightness that should be anywhere but inside a basement with a bunch of lunatics. You are so good, so light. You make me who I am." he said, _not us, I_. And he wanted to reenact their conversation about partners to tell her she was much more than his partner, she was his heart and soul. But he kept those words from falling from his lips.

"How could I know? You don't talk to me, Oliver…" she replied, unsure if she was hurting him even more. But she had to say it, she had to make him see that by keeping all that bottled and not talking was doing more bad than good.

Oliver opened his mouth to reply but there were no words to say. He closed his eyes and sighed. She was right… _she was always right_ …

"Was that why you didn't call me… after what happened?" he asked, the pain evident in his eyes.

"I wanted to, Oliver… and I was going to…" she said and sudden embarrassment stopped her from telling him. She bit her lip and hissed with the pain of opening the barely healed cut.

"But…" Oliver encouraged her, while observing the small drop of blood disappearing under her tongue.

"But I remembered Malcolm Merlyn… I didn't want you… or Diggle to hear me if I was…" she said, not really wanting to end that sentence. "I didn't want that to be your last memory of me… I know it was unfair for detective Lance, and I have to apologize to him… and thank him as well…"

Felicity saw Oliver's eyes widen. She waited for some kind of reaction from his part, but he said nothing.

However, his eyes spoke louder than words…

Felicity saw the sadness in his blue irises, she saw the pain and regret that plagued his days and nights for the last years.

"Please, don't leave me again." he said softly.

She wanted to grab his hands. She wanted to hug him. She wanted to kiss him. But before she could do any of those things he rose and walked towards the door.

"She is awake." he said and Felicity could hear the buzz of familiar voices.

From the now open door, Diggle, Roy and Sara entered. All with expressions of relieve and a bit of anger.

"Felicity..." Diggle started in his older brother voice, but Oliver put a hand over his shoulder.

"She already heard enough about how stupid her actions were." Oliver said simply. Felicity saw Dig eye him curiously and then look at her. It was like the former soldier was reading something from Oliver's posture that she couldn't see.

"Don't do that ever again." the former soldier said in a sad voice and Felicity nodded.

"Yeah, Barbie, you really scared the big guys." Roy said nonchalantly and Oliver snorted.

"Look who is talking." Oliver scoffed.

"Like you weren't all panicky when the doctor arrived. I thought I see you sniffing." the younger man said and Dig coughed to hide his laughter.

"We were all very worried." Sara said and she smiled warmly. Felicity didn't know why, if it was because of her almost death situation or how she saw how relieved they all were or even Oliver's hand that was squeezing her hand, but that smile made her feel at home and she smiled back, for real this time.

"We should let Felicity rest." Oliver said, staying put by her bed.

"Oliver, you should go too. What time is it? Did you went to QC? You are the CEO! You have to go to QC at least for half the day." Felicity said, trying to find something that could tell her the time of the day, but the windows were closed and there was no watch in the room.

" _What?_ I'm not gonna leave you!" Oliver replied, and if he noticed his possessive voice he didn't show it.

But her eyes were too powerful, they always were, even when surrounded by yellow bruises and tangled hair.

"I will stay with her. All of you should go to work. For the sake of your public personas." Sara said, softly. "The only people that are worried about me are my parents, and my dad already know I'm Felicity's friend, so no big deal if he comes here and finds me." she rationalized and the men had to give her reason.

"I will come here later." Oliver said, kissing her forehead for longer than was necessary.

"Just call us!" Dig said, touching her arm softly and stressing the word _call_. They wouldn't let it rest for as soon as she lived. " _We will talk later_ …" he whispered so she was the only one that could hear him.

"Yes, don't fret." Roy said giving her an awkward wave, like he was not sure what would be acceptable. And feeling Oliver's eyes shooting daggers through his skull he choose the distance farewell.

Sara sat beside her in the chair next to the bed, while Felicity's eyes were stuck to the door.

"I have never seen Oliver like that…" Sara said gaining Felicity's attention. "He cares about you… More than he realizes, I think…" Sara said and Felicity frowned.

"He is with you…" Felicity replied slowly, not sure where the conversation was heading and Sara laughed.

"That's what you think?" Sara asked and Felicity was filled with confusion for a lot of reasons. First, they had sex and they knew the truth about each other, it would be obvious they were together. Second, she was having that talk with _Sara_ , of all people. Third, the other woman was looking at her with a mixed up expression of mirth and wonder.

"You had sex… you had a relationship previous-drowning-but-not-drowning years in hellish place… and Oliver said he wouldn't let you go away, he even tracked you…" Felicity reasoned and Sara shook her head.

"Yes, we had sex, yes we had a relationship and yes, he won't let me go… but none of that matter… as soon as we realized what we did, we knew it was a mistake. You can call it the _the end_ in our book… and we felt guilty for what we did… we just wanted to forget that pain… but then I remembered the way my sister looked at me… and I bet Oliver remembered _another person_ _as well_ …" she said stressing the last words and looking significantly at Felicity. "We are friends, nothing more… We are not made for each other… We have too much history to move on and change what we are to each other… Our relationship was in standby, but not anymore…" Sara said, smiling softly.

"But why are you telling me this?" Felicity asked, begging for her blush to remain hide under her bruises.

"Because I think you need to know…" Sara replied with a mysterious tone and a smile tugging at her lips. "Now, there's something we need to do as soon as you are well enough…" Sara said with an excited tone.

"What? Are you going to dress me with black leather? Not there's something wrong with it, I hear people really like that… I mean… not that I'm calling you anything more than a badass fighter… but… okay, shutting up now... the meds are not helping at all…" Felicity babbled and Sara shook her head with mirth.

"No, I'm going to bring you to those mats and teach you how to kick any guys' ass that tries to hurt you ever again!" Sara said with such rage that Felicity almost saw the black mask over the woman's face and her Black Canary voice.

Felicity smiled and nodded, whispering an " _Okay"_ , while the weariness started crawling over her body. She yawned softly, not even trying to hide it.

"I can totally understand what he sees in you…" Sara whispered to herself while Felicity let her head rest against the pillow and closed her eyes with tiredness, falling asleep.

 


	10. Whispered Talks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A bit of Dig/Felicity, because I love them.

"How is she?" Felicity heard a voice whispering beside her bed. Oliver's voice… but it was far away, like he was talking through a wall. She couldn't make herself understand exactly what was going on, her brain too slow to pick up the context and for some moments she wondered who he was talking about, until another voice answered.

"Asleep. She needs the rest to heal properly…" Sara whispered back and Oliver sighed.

Stupid meds were making her all fuzzy and slow.

"I know… I just hoped I would never see her in this position…" and his voice broke and Felicity wanted to reach him, but she was so tired… just a movement… but her arm remained stuck to her side…

"Knowing her she would scoff at you, saying she is the one that commands her life…" Sara replied far away, at least to Felicity it sounded like that.

And she heard no more.

* * *

The whispered voices arose her once again, this time Roy speaking with a very curious Thea.

They were so far away Felicity was sure they were outside her door. The girl sounded like she was asking to speak with her brother and when Oliver's voice answered, Felicity could hear the tiredness dripping from every word.

She couldn't make sense of what they were saying, but apparently she wanted him to go home or something similar and his resounding _no_ ended their conversation with the younger woman saying goodbye with an exasperated tone.

She knew she should say something but the energy spent between thinking about something and doing it ran out before she could use it.

* * *

"No, detective, she is in no condition to talk with you. She is resting now!" she could hear Oliver's angry voice talking to an unknown person. This time it was in a raised tone that, with his growl, made her shiver.

"Sir, it's better if you lower your voice, unless you want Miss Smoak to wake up…" Diggle whispered. But she wanted them to speak louder, she wanted them to bring her from the world of sleep and be active and the Felicity Smoak she knew she was.

"But she is fine, right?" Lance's worried voice joined the conversation.

For the first time, Felicity let herself really think about that night and remembered Lance's worried voice calling her name. He was the one that got her help and just like she said to Oliver she would have to thank and would forever be in debt to that man. She felt a spike of warmness towards the former detective, always so formal while inside the station, but so fatherly after she got to know him, that she already respected and admired, but that now felt deeply connected to. Sara and Laurel were really lucky for having that man as a father.

And then his voices faded once again into the buzz of her head.

* * *

The next time she really regained conscience, with open eyes and clear head, she found Diggle sitting beside her bed. Oliver was nowhere in sight and she couldn't decide if she was relieved or disappointed.

"He had to answer a call…" her friend said and she smiled sheepishly at him.

"How mad are you?" Felicity asked. She knew Oliver said they already had that conversation, but she needed to hear Diggle, she needed to hear the friend that for five months helped her getting back on track while Oliver was away on that island. The friend she consoled when his relationship with Carly didn't work out.

"Extremely…" he said, but smiled nonetheless. "I was serious, you know? Don't do that ever again!" Dig said and Felicity saw the pain in his eyes. "Do you know how I felt when Sara called me? Do you imagined how we found Oliver in the hospital? Or how Roy almost jumped into the car's roof when I said he couldn't come? I know it's hard, but… Roy and now Sara… we have to work together…. We are a team…" Dig said, almost exasperated and Felicity nodded.

"I know, but… I was the odd one… I was always the odd one… You could kick any bad guy's ass and I… I was always behind the computers… I let Tockman destroy my system… I let Merlyn find out about our surveillance… Do you know how it feels knowing that the only thing you are good in isn't good enough?" Felicity replied, quickly cleaning some tears that fell from her eyes.

Dig smiled softly.

"Silly girl… It was not your fault… For a genius you can be incredibly dumb sometimes… Never feel like you are the odd one… I'm the soldier turned driver turned vigilante's friend turned CEO's black driver… and don't even let me get started on those three, okay? A shrink would have a field day with all that craziness… You are probably the sanest of us all…" Diggle said and she realized what he was doing. He, John Diggle, former soldier, was trying to cheer her up by making fun of himself and their friends. And she loved him for that.

"I know, okay? It was stupid… But I was feeling insecure and with everything that was happening with me it just blew out…" she replied, laughing sadly.

"What was happening with you?" Oliver echoed from the door. None of them had noticed him lurking around the entrance, or if Diggle noticed, since that man was almost as good as Oliver, he didn't show.

Felicity bit her lower lip, unsure of what to say. But now was not the time to lie or deceive, they deserved the truth, just like they gave her during their various conversations. It was a door she kept locked for too long and now they deserved to step inside as well, they were her boys after all.

"A friend of my father… He found me and gave me some of his things… It was a bit too much realizing that he never really wanted to leave me, but just couldn't put up with my mother anymore…" Felicity tried to say nonchalantly, but both men could see the pain behind her blue irises.

"Felicity…" Oliver whispered, reaching for her hand while Diggle grabbed her other one.

"He died, you know? Even if I wanted to talk to him, I couldn't…" she said, and for the first time she let herself cry for her father, or at least, the image of a father she wished she had. She wasn't sure if what hurt her the most was the loss of that bit of innocence she still had, buried deep into her heart, that still remembered how it felt to have something that resembled a father.

Oliver and Diggle looked at each other and squeezed her hands.

She told them a bit of what she knew, before she was too tired to continue.

While that, they held her hands and sat beside her after she fell asleep.

In those moments they were not Team Arrow, the heroes of Starling City, they were just Oliver and John and Felicity, three friends broken in different degrees and because of different situations, that knew the best and worst of each other. That saw too much and would probably see even more in the future. That relied in each other like family, because that was what they were, even if, sometimes, they forgot.


	11. Life changing words

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And finally Oliver says it...

"Felicity…" Oliver whispered and she opened her eyes to see him, asleep, on the chair. He was whispering her name. And it would be heartwarming if it wasn't for the pain she could hear behind the word. It was like he was begging her for something. His breathe was labored and then, he opened his eyes suddenly, with a gasped " _No!"_

He found the woman's eyes observing him and never a sight calmed him down quicker than her truthful and very alive blue irises.

"Oliver, what happened?" Felicity asked, grabbing his hand between her own.

He swallowed and tried to get up, but Felicity was having none of that. She pulled his hand with the small strength she had in her condition and only her gasp of pain made Oliver sit once again.

"It was just a nightmare." he said trying to diffuse her worry with his light tone.

"You were saying my name." Felicity replied, not fooled.

Oliver sighed and this time when he tried to rise she let him. She knew he wouldn't leave, she saw it in his eyes. But he needed time to arrange his thoughts and he couldn't do that sitting, he had to be moving, pacing in front of her bed and looking to the floor. He was a man of action.

"When I came back from the island I used to have vivid dreams. I even attacked my mother once when she tried to help me. With time they diminished, but when something… bad... happens they return. And they are vivid, so much that you don't know you are dreaming." he said, without looking at her. "I dreamed of you, dying in my arms." he confessed and finally looked at her with troubled eyes. His irises were deep like a pool in the middle of a storm, she could feel the winds shifting behind them, howling in pain and regret.

"But I'm alive, and I'm fine." she said, smiling softly.

"But I wasn't there to protect you! I promised Diggle when I brought you aboard that I would protect you, and I failed you, just like I failed Tommy and if they were minutes later you would beside him right now." Oliver said, his voice faltering and Felicity looked at him shocked, he was losing control and for once wasn't trying to regain it. It was nothing like his previously moving words. These words were raw, his demeanor was like the one of a wild animal, he was dripping regret and self-hate and Felicity berated herself for not noticing that before. His eyes should have been her first tip, normally ready to fight, now they were at the same time lifeless and ranging a war against himself.

"Oliver, please come here." Felicity asked and stretched her arm. He acquiesced immediately and grabbed her fingers. She pulled him towards her and whispered the life changing words that would forever reign over his world.

"I care about you Oliver, so much it hurts! I was sad because of you and Sara when she returned and I found your clothes." Oliver tried to interrupt her, but she put a finger over his lips. She was not sure where that bravery came from, if it was the effect of the meds or the sight of him hurting so much because of her, but she didn't want to step back now. She almost died and the time for regrets was long gone. "I spoke with Sara and she explained everything. And I felt relieved. I felt relieved because I care about you in a way that I shouldn't let myself care, because you are all the kinds of wrong for me. You are reckless and hotheaded, you had rather fight with your fists than your rationality. You are not what I envisioned for myself. But now, with you right here in front of me I won't care how dangerous it his, because never a wrong felt so right." and before Oliver could think of moving, her lips where already over his. _And it felt so right!_

It was like all the pent-up frustration poured into their lips, each wanting to taste and to give, to feel and to take. And only when Felicity gasped and touched her ribs did they break up. They stared at each other, not sure what to do or feel. And Sara's words echoed inside Felicity's head - "Because you need to know." and now she understood. Oliver Queen was attracted to her if his almost black irises, deep breathe and incredible kissing abilities were of any indication.

"Felicity..." he whispered in a way that made her shiver.

"I've wanted to do that for a long time." she confessed and Oliver sighed, closing his eyes and falling over the chair.

"This changes everything, you know?" Oliver said.

"Only if you want to." she replied. She wouldn't guilt trip him because of a kiss that might have been only fueled by lust, even if she hoped that was not the only factor.

It would hurt, so much, but she wouldn't cry or say anything about that ever again, she would be a rock, evoking all the strength she had in her. She saw him sigh once again, squeezing his eyes. And while she was bracing herself for the worst, Oliver finally answered.

"I want it." he said and finally opening his eyes again she could see the peace behind them. There was no storm in there.

"Are you sure? I'm not some one night stand! You do realize what you are getting yourself into, right?" Felicity asked and Oliver nodded.

"If all the mistakes I made concerning you taught me something is that you are one in a million." he said and Felicity smiled.

"Make that a billion."

Oliver smiled softly, a smile that made him look younger and innocent, all shiny eyes and handsome face, no dark past or hellish memories.

"You can sleep with me if you want." Felicity said eyeing his uncomfortable looking chair. "I mean sleep sleep, not _sleep_. Not that I wouldn't want to _sleep_ with you, I bet there is no one that wouldn't want to sleep with you. You are very _sleepable_... Is that even a word? Okay, shutting now before it's the embarrassment the cause of my death." she said, her blush showing under the bruises in her face and her neck.

"I would love sleep sleep with you." Oliver said, barely suppressing his shit-eating grin.

Felicity tried to roll her eyes but since it made her dizzy she only observed him taking his shoes off and sitting on the bed. And that was when she was really grateful for all the money Oliver had because her room besides being private had a bed big enough to let two people lay beside each other without the shot one hurting beyond the bearable.

"Sleep." Oliver said, kissing her temple.

" _Yeah, right_." she thought to herself, like sleeping beside Oliver Queen would be easy, but before she could think more about how warm she felt, the darkness enveloped her and the tiredness took her prisoner under its biddings.

* * *

 

**I read a lot of fanfics where is always Oliver the one to kiss her first, well I kind of wanted to change that. Hopefully, you liked it!**


	12. The father of Felicity Smoak

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anf finally Slade makes his move...

"You really don't want to enter…" Sara said, when Diggle tried to open the door to Felicity's room. The woman was sitting outside the room in a plastic chair, drinking coffee from the cafeteria downstairs.

"And why wouldn't I want to enter?" Dig replied, eyeing the door with trepidation.

"Because you would want to punch Oliver…" Sara said and it was obvious she was trying to keep a smile from her face.

Diggle was not sure what it might mean and curiosity winning in the end made him open slowly and silently the door… to find his boss and friend sleeping beside Felicity, an arm draped over her shoulders, away from the injured places.

"See? I told you so…" Sara laughed from her chair and Diggle stepped back and closed the door.

"How long have you been here?" Diggle asked, sitting beside her.

"Two hours. They were already like that… And since Oliver arrived much earlier I bet they were like that for a longer time…" she said, still smiling and that was what really bothered Diggle. Because he knew what happened, just like Felicity did, and even if he was sure Sara and Oliver were not having an affair he thought the woman would be more uncomfortable than she was, but then again, she was a good actress.

"And you are not bothered at all?" Diggle asked. And not because he thought Sara would be good for Oliver, because he didn't, but because he didn't like the dark mood that fell over the team recently (even if they were not that light and shiny before).

"No… You are like Felicity… She thought I was with Oliver as in a relationship…" Sara replied, eyeing the man beside her. He looked like a seasoned soldier, but there was something more profound about him, if she tried to guess, she would say he was a full supporter of Oliver and Felicity, not because they were his friends, but because he could read them like an open book and knew they needed each other to be complete.

"Well, I don't think you are in a relationship…" Diggle said, resting his head against the wall and sighing.

"We are just friends… what happened between us was a mistake that we can't keep making. It wouldn't make us happy, only miserable. We are like two windowless rooms… there is no light that we can give each other… And if I know something is that that woman over there is Oliver's light, she can illuminate all his dark recess… and what I have to do is find my own light to chase the demons away… and maybe I can borrow some of that light from her as well…" Sara said with a smile.

"You are a better woman than I thought, Sara Lance…" Diggle said bowing his head.

"And I know you love them and want the best for them…" Sara replied and Diggle chuckled.

"Yes, well, sometimes they are just too stubborn to realize what that is…" he said, remembering Oliver and Felicity's fight after Barry Allen.

Sara shrugged her shoulders and closed her eyes, mimicking his stance.

For some moments they sat there, sharing a comfortable silence.

"Hey, how is Barbie? I had to help Thea and couldn't come earlier…" a voice suddenly said from beside them and looking up they saw Roy already opening the bedroom door.

Diggle tried to warn him, but it was already too late.

" _What the hell?!"_ he yelled and from inside came the sound of Oliver's growl and Felicity's gasp.

* * *

"Yup, not the best way for the kid to find out…" Diggle said, while sitting with Oliver and Felicity in the room after Roy's quickly retreat.

After eyeing Oliver and Felicity for some awkward moments and wish her well he quikly left the room.

"I think he did that on purpose…" Oliver grumbled and Felicity shook her head.

"At least he knows nothing happened…" Felicity said before she could stop herself and Dig chuckled at his friends' uncomfortable silence.

"And you? Are you comfortable about that?" Felicity asked, observing Diggle's knowing smile.

"Of course… As long as I don't catch you making out on the back of the car…" he replied with a smile. Felicity wondered if he said car and not lair because of Sara and Oliver and shook her head to get rid of those dangerous thoughts.

Suddenly, a ringing sound echoed through the room, coming from Diggle's phone. Looking down he saw Lyla's name and with a smile rose from the chair to answer it outside.

"So, do you want me to call a nurse to give you the medication?" Oliver asked, eyeing his watch to see it was almost time.

"Don't worry, I don't need it right now…" Felicity said, when a knock came from outside the room.

And then the door opened and a man with an eye patch walked in.

Felicity smiled at the newcomer, while, beside her, Oliver froze. He stopped breathing altogether, like someone just removed all the air from the room. For some moments he wondered if he fell asleep and was now in the middle of a very vivid nightmare.

The newcomer walked towards the bed, but before he could reach it, Oliver jumped to his feet to hide Felicity from view.

"Oliver, what are you doing? That's Mr. Williamson… he isn't a threat…" Felicity said, rising her trunk to see beside Oliver.

"What?" he gasped, without turning around. He didn't want to show any opening. "You know him?" and the man smiled cruelly.

"He is that friend of my father I told you about… The one that told me he died…" Felicity explained slowly, feeling goosebumps rising over her arms. She didn't know what was happening, but if Oliver's expression was of any indication he knew that man and he was not who he made her think he was. her words felt like sawdust over her tongue.

"This man's name is not Williamson…" Oliver hissed through his teeth.

"Then who is he?" Felicity asked loudly.

"Hey lovebirds, the nurse asked me to bring these med... _Slade!_ " Sara gasped when entering the room with a box of pills in her hands.

" _Slade?_ Wasn't that the man..." Felicity asked and the man smiled at her, his eyes shining with cruelty.

Felicity gaped at the man for a second. And then schooled her features to hide the rage. She couldn't see any of the pain he had while talking previously about her father, they were now cold and calculating. She just lost the only link she had with part of her past, but damn be her if she let him saw that or the pain it caused her.

The ghosts of Oliver's past once again caught up with him. Now that she was finally coming to terms with her own. She just lost her father for the third time.

"You never knew my father. The photos were fake. But how did you knew how he looked like?" Felicity asked, while grabbing Oliver's arm. She had to know, it would be worth the pain of a few ripped stitches, if the pain on her side with her sudden movements were of any indication.

"Oh no, my dear. Those photos were not fake and I really knew your father. Actually, all of us did." he said, opening his arms like he wanted to join Oliver and Sara.

"What?" Sara asked, shocked at his words. "What do you mean? Who are you talking about?"

Oliver was trembling with barely suppressed rage and when Diggle appeared beside Sara, with his phone still inside his hand, it took him only a millisecond to understand the threat. He joined Felicity in her tries to keep Oliver subdued, while Sara acted like a guard in front of the door.

"Did you know that Ivo was his mother's maiden name?" Slade asked and Oliver froze, just like he did when Slade appeared.

_No, it couldn't be!_

He turned his face slightly to eye Felicity, trying to find a sign that dismissed his theory and from the corner of his eyes he could see Sara doing the same.

Her face wasn't all that similar, but what struck him were the eyes. From the first time he saw them they looked familiar, but he never lost too much time thinking about that. Until now, when it was too late.

"You are lying!" he spat, feeling Felicity's fingers digging into his arm. But he couldn't look at her now, after his realization.

"The woman recognized her father." Slade said, producing a picture from his pocket. A copy of the one he gave her with her father and her as a child. He taunted them with it.

"Explain." Felicity whispered from behind him and Oliver felt his heart break.

"Your father was a mad man! He wanted the mirakuru and he killed Shado because your boyfriend chose her" he nodded at Sara "instead of the woman who saved him from certain death, that taught him how to defend himself." Slade said, smiling at the horror showing in Felicity's face.

"So my father was..."

"Anthony Ivo or Smoak as he was previously known." Slade completed, feeling the small fingers of revenge finally reaching him, like a lost lover.

"Excuse me, but the visiting hours are ending." someone said from behind Sara and a nurse peeked curiously at the group's tense stance.

"I will be in my way, then." Slade said. "Nice to see you, kid." he finished, nodding at Oliver with a mock salute. He walked by Sara with a cruel smile and bowed his head at her. She felt her fists tremble and had to stop herself from punching him. The only thing keeping any of them from starting a fight was the knowledge they were in the middle of a hospital and that Slade was a much more powerful enemy than they could take in there without casualties.

The nurse looked between the rest of the group, confused at the men's stance in front of the injured woman and the other one looking like a statue. Diggle was still keeping Oliver in place, but right now it was no longer necessary. All the fight left him, his eyes glued to the picture with a small girl with brown locks.

Sara was still looking at Felicity like she couldn't believe. And Felicity was trying to come with terms with all that was flying through her mind. Her father was the one that saved Sara. He was the one that searched for the mirakuru in that island. And she was sure he didn't die of cancer.

"Who killed him?" she asked. And Oliver and Sara cringed.

"Felicity, maybe it's not the best time." Dig said, releasing Oliver that felt like his knees could buckle any minute.

"No, she has to know." Oliver rasped. "No more secrets."


	13. The truth about death

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oliver tells the story of Ivo's death

"As you know, we lied to Slade about Shado. When he went after Ivo, without us..." Oliver could feel Felicity's eyes observing him, but he couldn't look at her now and see the hatred she probably felt towards him, not after he almost lost her and finally told her about his feelings. "…we knew he would find out the truth..." and Oliver stopped talking. And it was Sara that picked up from where he left of.

"So I told Oliver to kill him." she said. "I'm sorry, but we had to survive." she said directly to Felicity. "He saved me from certain death and taught me many things, but he was too absorbed by his work to realize other people's feelings."

" _Did you?"_ Felicity asked and she didn't have to finish the sentence for everyone to know what she was asking. _Did you kill him?_

Neither Oliver or Sara answered, instead, Oliver kept his narrative with a hollow voice.

"We returned to the freighter, letting ourselves be captured. We had to keep Slade away from Ivo... So, when I was taken to prison I attacked the guards and started a riot, releasing the prisoners." Oliver said.

"While I was taken to Ivo." Sara took over. "I could see Slade hadn't find him yet, but I wasn't sure how much longer we had. I tried to attack him, but he was prepared and his guards beat me. He left to know what was going on, after someone informed him of Oliver's rebellion, while I was dragged away. I passed out sometime during the beating."

"The prisoners started attacking every guard they could find. And that's how I saved a Bratva captain. He was in the cell next to mine and I helped him escape. I found my bow, and when I found Ivo he was already with Slade. I don't know how he found him, but they were facing each other. Slade had a gun to his head when Ivo said that I was the one that chose Sara. I knew in that moment that I was going to die. I saw it in Slade's eyes. I think he already had some kind of uncertainty about our story, but probably blamed the mirakuru effects on his paranoia… but before he could do anything else than stare at me, part of the freighter exploded. The prisoners set it on fire, while escaping in a few boats. I tried to run, but Slade stopped me. We fought. Ivo ran towards his cabin." Oliver was telling it like each moment didn't have a connection with the previous one.

They could almost see the flames behind Oliver's eyes and Felicity and Diggle traded worried looks. It was the first time they saw Oliver like that and it frightened them.

"I could hear people screaming and smelled the smoke. Anatoly ran into the fight and when Slade tried to kill him I used my chance and I shot him… In the eye." Oliver said. He could still see the blood spilling from the man's face and how he fell backwards. It was like Anatoly was once again right beside him, in that moment, tugging at his sleeve, screaming at him to run.

"I never saw Sara again. I thought she died when the ship burned. Anatoly and I escaped with a few other prisoners and that's when I heard Ivo was dead, one of the prisoners killed him. We reached land and Anatoly took me with him. I spent some time with the Bratva, training and learning. And then I returned to the island." Oliver concluded.

And he finally looked at Felicity.

"So, none of you..." she said and Oliver and Sara shook their heads.

"But you have to understand, it was my fault the ship burned, I was the one that let the prisoners go. And if I had been face to face with him I would have killed him." Oliver said without trying to hide the disgust in his voice.

And before Felicity could say anything he left the room.

"Oliver..." she whispered, feeling her heart constrict like it was bound with a tight rope.

"I don't blame him." she said to Diggle, like she needed her friend to know the truth.

Sara was quiet, almost one with the dark corner of the room and for some moments Felicity felt transported to the week after the Undertaking, after Oliver left and Diggle and her were left to pick up the pieces of their shattered lives.

"He is a complicated man. Neither of us could ever imagine who your father was, and now he believes himself as guilty of you losing him." Diggle replied, sighing deeply and sitting beside Felicity. "Just like I said, a field day for a shrink…"

"My father left me before that. I don't know if what Slade told me was true, but no matter what, Oliver wasn't to blame, just like I wasn't to blame when he left my mother." Felicity whispered to herself, feeling Diggle's curious look.

She knew Dig and Sara had no idea she already met Slade, and now was not the time. But if there was something she realized was that her younger self and even, sometimes, her present self, weren't so different from Oliver. They both blamed each themselves for others' mistakes, they couldn't control her father, or Slade or Moira, they were adults that made mistakes, awful mistakes, and it would be unfair for them to carry their parents' cross. Each burden to each one.

Felicity tried to get up, but a flash of pain stopped her and looking down she found blood seeping from her side.

"Shit!" Dig cursed, rising to find a nurse or a needle and line to stitch her himself.

"You are an amazing woman, did you know?" Sara said suddenly and Felicity forgot for moments about her bleeding problem. "It's not everyone that when faced with all this understands the other side. And forgive."

Felicity smiled sadly.

"I won't proclaim that I have the monopoly of sanctity. If there is one thing I learned with all this is that you can't blame yourself for the mistakes of others. My father chose his destiny when he started seeing humans as toys, what happened to him was solely on him. I don't know if he loved me like Slade made me think, but I like to think there was something in there..." she said and Sara approached the bed. She grabbed the photograph that was still over the covers and observed it.

"During the year I lived with him I saw Ivo only taking one thing with him everywhere he went." Sara gave the photo to Felicity. "And it was the original of that photo. I could never imagine you could be the brown haired girl. You are blonder." Sara joked.

Diggle entered followed by a nurse. Felicity had already forgot about her mishap. _So maybe her father wasn't really a total monster, if he could still love a little girl._

"I'm sorry, but you really have to leave now. We already let you stay for forty minutes later." the nurse said while arranging the things to stitch Felicity again.

Diggle opened his mouth to disagree, but Felicity sent him _the look_. He knew it too well to fight her on that.

"Please, go and find Oliver. He is probably breaking the dummies. Tell him I need to talk to him." Felicity pleaded.

Diggle sighed.

"You two are gonna be the death of me." he said, shaking his head.

"Thank you." Felicity said and Dig eyed her confused. "If it weren't for your trainings I wouldn't have been able to fight him." she explained with a smile. Diggle rolled his eyes, and kissing her on the forehead, he smiled at her and left the room.

"Take care of the boys." Felicity said and Sara squeezed her hand in return.

* * *

But Oliver wasn't breaking the dummies. He was watching Felicity's room from the building at front. The roof giving him the perfect place to keep her safe.

"Stalker much?" Diggle asked from behind Oliver.

"I'm keeping her safe." Oliver replied without losing his focus.

"Slade, hum?" Dig said and Oliver breathed deeply.

"I never thought he could be alive, but at least now we know who is behind all the mirakuru problems." Oliver said. His voice was still detached and that was starting to get on Diggle's nerves. He wanted to shake his friend and bring the fighter back.

"He tried to come after Felicity." Dig said and Oliver growled under his breathe, finally showing some kind of emotion, even if it was hate.

"He probably thought she would be vulnerable, or just wanted to rub it in my face. He is probably tired of hiding in the shadows." Oliver replied with barely repressed anger. "If Felicity hadn't grabbed my hand and remembered me where we were I would have killed him." Oliver said menacingly. "When I left… he was there." he said, catching Diggle in surprise.

"He was inside his car, waiting for me." Oliver said. "And he gave me this." he took something from inside his pocket and showed it to his friend.

It was a picture. Diggle cursed out loud when he saw what it was.

Felicity was laying on the floor. Blood sipping from her side. Her white blouse colored red. He could see the gun beside her.

"This was..." he started and Oliver nodded.

"Inside Tockman's house. He was there." Oliver said and Diggle noticing something in the back of the photo. Words were written in black.

_The sins of the parents are paid by the children._

"He will try to kill her again." Dig said. "What are you going to do?"

_"Me? I'm going to kill him first."_

 


	14. My life, my choice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Felicity shows exactly what Oliver can count with

Felicity was not happy.

She was finally being released after two weeks of not stepping into the outside world, but what made her mad was Oliver's actions. After leaving that night he never returned to visit her. Oh, she knew he was right outside of her window guarding her, she could feel his eyes following her every move, which she was still trying to understand if was sweet or creepy.

 _She was so going to kick his ass!_ Or ask Diggle to do it, since her side still ached, and she really didn't want to go back to the hospital in the near future.

It made her furious that after the things he said to her, he had the nerve to disappear from sight. _Oh, he wouldn't see what was coming his way._

She stopped in front of the car waiting for her and rolled her eyes.

"Ma'am..." Diggle said with a mock serious tone, opening her door. She noticed his lips trembling to stop from grinning and she rolled her eyes.

"Take me to QC or Verdant, wherever Oliver is!" Felicity demanded in front of the open door, without entering the car.

"No, I'm taking you home! You were just released." he said and Felicity scoffed.

"Looks like I was in prison or something." she said, with her arms crossed in front of her chest.

"Please, Felicity!" Diggle said and shook his head like he was trying to get rid of a bug.

"He is in the comm? Good!" Felicity said, recognizing the signs of someone that just had a full string of yelled curses delivered directly to their ear, especially by Oliver Queen, and closing the distance between her and Diggle she said so only he and Oliver could hear. " _You are going to be in my apartment in two hours top!_ " she didn't have to say **_or else_** , her threat was implied, her voice was low and hard. She just hoped his fear of what she might do was enough to make him quit his Houdini act. Felicity Smoak was not a patient woman, and not even the Arrow had the courage to really cross her.

When she entered the car, she turned around to see Diggle sending her a smug smile and pointing towards a motorcycle speeding through the street.

Felicity Smoak 1 - Oliver Queen 0

* * *

When she entered her house it was filled with her favorite movies and series neatly packed in rows after rows of future entertainment, beside a group of well taken care of old books. She could also smell roses and something that smelled like cotton candy.

For a moment she feared the things came from Slade.

His inactivity left her fearful.

Now that Oliver knew he was in town he didn't have to hide anymore.

What would he be waiting for? For them to fall into a sense of false security? If that was it he didn't know Oliver as well as he thought.

Was he trying to tire them, to make them waste time and lose their minds trying to find him? Well, if that was the case, he was right. She could feel her fingers twitching to touch her keyboard once again. She wanted to know how he was able of creating such a facade, so pristine not even her computers found a fault in it. Maybe he had help, it wouldn't pass her, someone as good as her...

He even created a fake death certificate for her father, just to trick her. Just to lurk her into his web. And she would have fallen in it. However, she wondered why he showed at the hospital. Was he trying to rub it in Oliver's face that he couldn't protect her? If that was it, well done, but now was her time to play. And everyone knows the queen reigns in chess.

And then, looking around once again she was sure it was all Oliver's. She even found a neatly arranged midnight blue leather jacket with a post-it note, the words "Blue looks good on you" were written in Sara's handwriting. And besides, Oliver probably had her home under surveillance or he wouldn't let her come back here. He probably even put cameras inside. She looked towards her teddy dragon of Mushuu from Mulan and tried to see if his eyes looked different. She laughed at herself when a movement behind her made her turn around.

Yup, she needed to train that part if she wanted to convince Oliver and Diggle to let her out of the lair.

Turning around she saw Oliver walking from her kitchen, a coffee mug in his hand. _Her_ coffee mug actually, the one with the drawing of Lupin and Tonks from Harry Potter, the one no one touches.

"What are you doing with my mug?" she asked, like she caught him stealing her newborn baby.

"Drinking coffee, since I know you won't make me one." he said, confused at her outburst.

"That's my no-one-touches-it-unless-they-want-to-die mug." she said too sweetly and Oliver deposited it into her open hands carefully, stepping back slowly.

"Oh, you did that mistake too." Diggle said from the doorway, carrying Felicity's bag and eyeing the mug.

"When did you...?" Oliver asked, choosing to ignore the little twinge of jealousy that bloomed into his chest.

"While you were on the island for five months, the girl needed someone to carry her new shelves upstairs while the elevator was broken." Dig said, smirking at his friend's behavior. "Well, my work here is done, so, have fun guys, but not too much, Felicity is still in rehab." he said, and before the woman could sputter an excuse, and probably make things worse, he closed the door.

An awkward silence reigned over the place, while Oliver stood rigidly in front of her and Felicity tried to come up with the best words to say what went through her mind during these two weeks.

"You are an asshole!" she yelled. And then, breathing deeply, trying to create some sense of peace inside her mind, she pointed towards her couch.

"We need to talk." she said, and Oliver followed her gesture, sitting in the couch.

"First, how the hell do you have my house keys?" she asked.

"Diggle let me burrow his set, after I promised I wouldn't make a copy for myself." Oliver answered and taking the set from his pocket he put it over the coffee table.

"Okay. We will talk about personal boundaries later, mister! But now, I really need to know what were you thinking during these two weeks? Were you hiding from me? Look, if you think the kiss and all that was a mistake, you can tell me, you were feeling relieved for my recovery and misunderstood your feelings." she said, controlling her voice so it wouldn't show the heartbreak it would bring her if it was indeed the case.

If he said that it was indeed a mistake, she would not cry, she wouldn't say a word, she would pretend for the sake of the city and the work they did for it, that everything was alright. She would be a rock.

Oliver shook his head in contempt. He was not sure if he was happy she thought he kept himself away because he didn't like her or sad because her thoughts showed how frail her confidence was.

"No, Felicity. I don't think it was a mistake, and maybe that is the mistake." he said, his hands fisting his jeans.

"Then why?" she asked.

"I'm selfish. I couldn't bear to see you hate me." Oliver said, his eyes downcast.

Even if her mood was far from happy, Felicity laughed at his words.

"You are so stupid, Oliver Queen. You really think I would hate you for someone else's action? Now hear me, I don't care what that thick head of yours came up with, but it's wrong! I understand what you did, lying about Shado was wrong, we all know that if you told the truth maybe things could have been different, or not. Slade would want to kill him all the same, but probably he had killed you and Sara first. And then, all the good you did wouldn't have happened. I would still be in the IT department and Dig would still be body guard to rich guys, well, his situation wouldn't be so different after all..." Felicity said, cocking her head to the side in that manner that always made Oliver crack a smile. And it did, even if it was still frailer than normal.

"What I'm trying to say is, if we are going to blame each other, then why not blame me for not keeping my father at home?" Felicity asked and Oliver frowned.

"But you were just a kid! You didn't know what was happening." Oliver replied.

"Exactly! You didn't know what was happening either. You were put in the middle of extraordinary circumstances and you had to fight your way out of it. And even if you say that if you had found him you would kill him, we can't know that. Human nature is the most complex thing on earth. You can't be so egotistical and affirm you have the knowledge about what you would do in a situation where you don't know who would be there, what they would say and what you would think. What if he mentioned his daughter? You might feel guilty and let him go. So, please, Oliver don't live under the power of what ifs and maybes, that won't make you or me any good. You have to think about the present, dream about the future and not let the roots of the past keep you from reaching your own happiness." Felicity said wisely and Oliver let go a long and deep breathe.

"Are you sure? I'm broken, I'm moody, I'm wrong. You could find another man to make you happy, Barry for instances..." Oliver said. He knew he was hurting himself saying those things, but worse than hurting himself, would be hurting Felicity. And he vowed to himself to never let that happen.

"Silly man." she said, and closing the distance between them, she kissed his lips lightly.

"I already said it once and I will say it again, since you have dementia or are too pig-headed to understand. It's my life, it's my choice. If you are in, I'm in. Let's fight this together." she said, reaching for his hand and squeezing it.

"Okay." Oliver whispered.

"Okay?" Felicity echoed happily.

"Okay." Oliver replied louder, finally laughing with the silliness of their actions. He felt good like that. Happy. At home.


	15. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where are they years later? What happened to them?

Felicity had a lot of titles. IT-guru, proved genius, Head of the IT Department of Queen Consolidated, The Oracle (Sara's creation after a very lengthy conversation about code names) and more recently Mrs. Smoak-Queen.

But if there was one thing all those accomplishments never prepared her for and probably would never turn into an everyday thing was Oliver's nightmares.

She felt him turn and grumble beside her. His pained voice calling someone.

" _Thea... Please, don't... She didn't do anything_..." he begged to an invisible threat.

But Felicity knew better. She knew what her husband was seeing, like all that happened just last week, yesterday or even ten minutes ago. She knew because she felt the same way. The images were still as fresh in her mind as they were in following days. She was still unsure if she could ever forget those moments for how long she lived.

_Even with all the protection Oliver and Diggle were able of finding through Lyla, Slade was still able of taking Thea away._

_The days that followed Thea's kidnap were some of the worst of Felicity's life. Oliver was insane, running after any kind of clue, putting himself in danger, keeping Felicity away._

But when she was finally able of finding the younger woman, what happened later still haunted Felicity's nights.

_They found an old dynamite factory by the port, where a car belonging to one of Slade's fake lawyer firm's associates was recorded by some kids playing with their phones and uploading the videos to YouTube._

_Felicity could still remember the face of the girl when they found her, so different from the strong and independent woman she learned to respect. It was pale, tear stricken and in a drug induced haze, that left her repeating over and over the sam **e words.**_

_**"Malcolm Merlyn is my father. Oliver lied. Mom lied. Felicity lied.** "_

_Felicity could only imagine the kind of torture the girl had gone through and when Slade appeared from the shadows, she felt a hatred rise inside her like she had never felt before. But Sara, that was right beside her, was quicker. She ran towards him, trying to take him by surprise. For some seconds, Felicity looked between Thea and the couple engaged in the fight. Removing her jacket she put it over Thea's shoulder and rose to her entire height._

_From the moment she entered the foundry after being released from the hospital, Sara and Diggle took her training into their hands in a much more brutal way than she could imagine. But she knew it would pay off someday._

_Even if she was clearly at disadvantage, she had to try. Oliver, Diggle, Roy and the Suicide Squad were fighting off Slade's remaining mirakuru injected soldiers, the former not because they wanted to help save Thea, but because Amanda Waller didn't like having someone that powerful out of her domain._

_And the only person that could help Sara was Felicity. And she tried, but Slade was much stronger._

_She had only flashbacks of those moments. She remembered him kicking her while yelling._

_" **Your father killed Shado!** "_

_And then, she heard him move towards Sara._

_" **Because of you!** "_

_But before he could end them, she felt, rather than hear, someone pulling him away, followed by grunts of pain that she recognized as Oliver's._

_She tried to open her eyes and saw the two men in a life or death fight. They were quicker than her eyes could follow. Unfazed by the blood pouring from their mouths. Slade was super human, but Oliver was not. And she was not sure what all those punches and kicks would do to his internal organs._

_However, before she could do or say something, she felt herself being grabbed and taken away. She tried to see who it was and found Diggle's face. She noticed Roy carrying Thea and Sara being dragged by Lyla. The rest of the Squad followed them with bloody hands and bruised bodies. But someone was missing._

_"Oliver..." she yelled, trying to fight Diggle, but he didn't budge._

_It was like he couldn't hear at all. He kept running, increasing the distance between them and Oliver._

_When the night air filled her lungs she looked back to see the warehouse where he kept Thea prisoner. Looking around, she found Roy with the young woman against his chest, kissing her hair. Sara was cursing under her breathe, but looked better than she thought she would be after a beating like that._

_"I promised I would get you to safety, and then I would in back." Diggle whispered to Felicity. She felt a lump inside her throat and couldn't swallow._

_Felicity rose, ready to run into the warehouse when an explosion from inside stopped her in her tracks._

_"No! Oliver!" she yelled, while watching the flames starting to lick the foundation and the roof start to crumble._

_Before Diggle could do anything, Felicity bolted from between his arms. She had catch him in mid movement when he was going to run towards the place and easily dashed. If there was one thing Sara taught her was how to use her small body to evade another person. She just never thought to use it against Dig._

_"Felicity!" she heard him yell behind her, but she didn't stop. Just like she knew he was running behind her._

_When she re-entered the building she found herself in a labyrinth of smoke. Call it irony._

_Felicity tried to call Oliver, but her throat closed and she felt her lungs burning. The smoke was entering her airways too quickly. She had to keep herself from panick, breathing slowly, with her blouse raised over her mouth._

_She ran between the hallways, searching for any sign of Oliver. The corridors were dark and confusing, but she finally found the place where she saw Oliver for the last time. There were fallen walls of metal and stairs, keeping her from running at full speed. She had to jump and run around. Looking back, she realized Diggle wasn't following her and she panicked, afraid he might be lost in that crumbling place. But before she could do anything else she found Slade and Oliver._

_Slade had his hand around Oliver's neck, hanging him over his head. Felicity tried to run, but before she could approach more than two steps, a deafening noise from above made her look up. Part of the roof was flying towards the reckless humans in there._

_"Oliver!" Felicity yelled and she saw the man look up. Even within that distance she noticed his fear while looking at her and how his lips mouthed "Run!"_

_But she couldn't, she couldn't run and let him there. She had to try, so Felicity ran towards him, but the debris were too quick and so, she was left in the half distance between herself and Oliver looking at a mountain of iron and bricks._

_"Oliver!" she yelled once again and behind her, she heard Diggle's voice calling._

_"Oliver!" Felicity called, jumping over the fallen debris._

_She didn't remember about the flames eating the building, or the smoke intoxicating her. The only thing she remembered was Oliver's closed eyes before he disappeared from her view._

_The tears pricked her eyes, but she cleaned them furiously._

_She found the place where they had been standing and she started moving whatever she could. When she felt Diggle by her side she nodded at him, their minds one and they started pushing._

_Their hands were bloody and slippery when they heard a cough from under a last part of the roof._

_"Where is Roy when we need him?" Diggle asked out loud, but when Felicity started pushing the part aside he stopped her._

_"Oliver?" he asked and Felicity looked at him like he was crazy. **What the hell was he doing?**_

_"Yes." came Oliver's moaning from under them and Diggle started pushing as well._

_"It could have been Slade." he replied when they were finally able of pulling the thing aside._

_"Oliver!" Felicity sighed when she found herself face to face with him. She kneeled beside his body, checking for injuries._

_He had an iron stabbed through his right leg and another smaller one through his left shoulder. His face was bloody and she could barely discern his features, but she knew it was him. Some part of the iron structure of the roof kept him from being smashed, forming a kind of cage around him.  
_

_"Felicity..." he whispered and with Diggle's help they dragged him away._

_"Where is Slade?" Dig asked and Oliver pointed a crooked broken finger towards another big chunk of the roof._

_They could see an arm and a leg appearing in a poodle of blood._

_"We have to go before we end like him." Diggle said and was ready to take Oliver when they heard Roy's voice._

_The younger man appeared running from the hallway. In a second he was in front of them, already grabing Oliver and taking him away. Felicity and Diggle ran behind his dirt covered red hoodie._

_Their bodies were covered with ashes, sweat and blood, but they couldn't care less._

_Felicity could still remember how the night air felt so pure after that suffocating atmosphere and she never took it for granted anymore._

* * *

While immersed inside the memories, she noticed Oliver had quieted and stroked his hair.

"Felicity." he whispered and she smiled openly.

Thea knew the truth. She knew the lies that were keeping her family apart. And she fought back. She fought like a soldier and she won the control of her life once again, even if her relationship with her mother would never be the same. Even Oliver was pushed away for months until the younger woman was sure she was Thea Queen once again.

Even if it took many, many months, they were able of recovering some part of normality, at least what normality could be applied in their case.

_At least until Oliver heard about the true culprits behind the mirakuru research..._

And he left. He left for six months to hunt them and bring them to justice for any kind of crime they might have committed.

_He didn't kill anyone._

And during those six months, Felicity didn't know if he was alive or dead. When he returned, the first thing she did was punch him. She almost broke his jaw, she could have done it, but she stopped herself from using all her strength. In the end when Sara found out about Felicity's reaction, she said she should have done it and warned Oliver about Felicity's new abilities. She was no Oliver, but she was no shrinking violet either.

Felicity grinned to herself remembering how he looked at her after the punch. It was definitely an instagram moment. It was a pity Diggle didn't have his cellphone with him.

Felicity was ready to fall asleep once again, spooning against Oliver when a whimper from her bedside table made her reopen her eyes. Her hand grabbed the monitor and quickly rising from the bed, she tiptoed through the bedroom quietly. At least she was already awake.

She walked towards the room in front of her and, opening the door, found the culprit kicking his feet on the air.

"Aren't you tired?" she asked, bending beside the crib and grabing the baby. He quieted immediately and Felicity sighed.

"You just wanted to see me, right?" she cooed and the baby giggled.

"Thomas Queen, you have failed your mother's resting time." she said, touching his nose with her own and laughing softly.

The baby smiled at her and Felicity felt her breathe catch in her throat. It were moments like those, when she had this little miracle inside her arms, smiling at her, that she felt all the heartbreak and pain they went through was worthwhile.

"Oliver, stop lurking around." Felicity said without turning around, while she rocked the baby and hummed a lullaby.

He chuckled behind her and stepped out of the shadows. His hair was wild and she had to stop herself from smiling. Oliver Queen with his multibillionair smile transporting two bears, one fox, one canary and an elephant over his arms was a sight to be seen.

"I found it next to my side of the bed." he explained and Felicity nodded in understanding.

"Tommy and Thea were playing there earlier. I forgot taking them away! But that serves you right! You shouldn't enter through the window and crawl all over me." Felicity said and Oliver smiled meaningfully.

"Stop that right now!" she said, recognizing the signs of him making fun of her remarks.

"You wanted this, right son?" Oliver asked, showing him the fox and the small hand stretched towards the orange animal.

Felicity smiled and putting her son inside his crib she saw him snuggle against the soft object, yawn and close his eyes.

They waited a few moments until they were sure he was asleep and then left the room soundlessly.

"It was my time." Oliver said when Felicity opened the bedroom door.

"I was already awake, it was no big deal." she said, shrugging her shoulders.

Oliver observed her, while Felicity pushed the covers, sat on the bed and pulled them over her shoulders.

"Why are you looking at me like that? If you are going to say my hair looks like a nest yours is no better Mister my hair is always sexy." Felicity said with a smile. That was quickly erased by her husband demeanor.

"Hey, come here. What is going on?" she asked when her husband finally joined her on the bed.

"I was the one that woke you. Again." Oliver guessed, his arms surrounding Felicity's frame and his chin over her head.

"Oliver!" she said in her stop-with-that-crap-right-now-or-you-will-sleep-on-the-couch voice.

He already knew what she was going to say and she already knew what he would argue.

"I love you, you know?" Oliver whispered.

"Yup!" Felicity said, grinning. "And I think the kid that we just left and this shiny ring on my finger kind of prove it." she replied with a grin.

Oliver kissed her smiling lips and she giggled.

"We have to sleep." Felicity said. "You and Diggle have to go to Central City and I have a meeting with Mr. Fox."

Oliver grumbled under his breathe. It was no surprise he hated going away from Thomas and her. And Felicity would be lying if she said she didn't feel damn smug about that.

"You will see Barry! You can even race him!" Felicity said with mirth and Oliver grumbled.

"Way to boost a man's confidence." Oliver said grumpy, but Felicity could see his lips trembling with the repressed smile he was trying to contain.

When Oliver finally fell asleep, Felicity stayed awake, observing him. She could see his scars, the old ones and the new he gained throughout the years they were together. They were not always visible on his skin, but she knew every one of them. Every time he had to say goodbye to his son without knowing if he would return to see him again, every time he watched Thea say goodbye to Roy before they left to patrol, every time he separated from Diggle to follow a mission, every time he saw Sara talking about her family with that guarded demeanor, she knew he hurt inside. From all those moments a new scar was born. She knew he still fought against his own demons, the nightmares only a small physical reaction about everything he still had inside his mind. And just as she knew he would never give up the fight, she knew he would always have her in his corner. Waiting to patch his wounds and see the scar forming over his skin. She would kiss it and feel him sigh.

Just like all those years ago, it was still her choice, but now, it was not her life, it was theirs and she would always bet on them.

* * *

**The end (for now)  
**

**Just like I said, I'm going to write some outtakes. I'm already working on one of them, where Oliver goes away for those 6 months to find the ones behind the mirakuru research and where we can see Felicity's reaction to that. But I won't probably write scenes after the last one of this chapter.**

**So, about Felicity Smoak-Queen - Behind a great Queen is always a great Smoak... (literally and figuratively) I didn't want her to be just Mrs. Queen, I think she would want to keep that identity/part of her before Oliver and what she is after marrying him.**

**Well, if you know the Batman storyline, you already know Mr. Fox, I really like his character and since he is so techy like Felicity I thought it would be funny to use that small remark.**

**The toys Oliver carries were given by each member of the team, and so all of them represent the members.**

**And that's it for now...**


	16. Outtake 1 - Six months

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oliver leaves for 6 months to go after the ones behind the mirakuru search. What happens to Felicity during that time?

**Six Months**

* * *

Oliver knew he was being a bastard. He knew she would hate him. He knew she would probably never want to see his face again. But, nevertheless, he left the bed, _their bed_ , grabbed a pen and paper and wrote two words.

**_I'm sorry._ **

She was still sleeping peacefully when he turned around one last time, trying to imprint her mess of a hair, her alabaster skin and her soft smile into his mind. He couldn't be sure if or when he would return. Maybe it would take him more time than she was ready to wait. Maybe when he return she would be walking with her hand inside another's man hand. And that deep cold feeling made him stop and almost turn around. But he couldn't. He couldn't live with the idea that their peace could be short lived. What if someone saw the mirakuru as the only way to bring the Arrow down? Or to seize control of a city? He was one of the people that knew how dangerous that thing could be in the wrong hands. And he was the one that could stop it.

Or thinking about the worse, he might never come back… that was the most probable fate to his mission: a cold death in a foreign country with no one to bury him.

No one knew what he was going to do, except for Lyla. And since she felt she had a debt to pay he knew she wouldn't tell until he was too far away to be stopped. Diggle would say something that would make him feel the lowest and give up, he was sure of it, and probably punch him until he passed out, just for good measure. And so, he made the woman promise to tell him as soon as she had any info about the ones behind the mirakuru research. He wouldn't put that investigation under Felicity's hand with all she had to do, but since he knew Lyla was heading a team to find them, she just had to warn him first and let the things happen.

Oliver grabbed the door knob, feeling the cold of the metal sip into his bones.

"Please, forgive me." he whispered, closing the bedroom door. It was asking too much. She should be free from his shadow, but he couldn't stop that small hope that maybe she would wait for him. Or even the smaller hope that he might survive and come back…

* * *

When she woke up, she yawned and stretched slowly, feeling the sleep numbness disappearing from her muscles. She turned around, expecting to see Oliver getting ready to work only to find an empty bed and an empty room. She sat and looked around, noticing the small note over his pillow.

Felicity smiled while stretching her hand to grab the paper. He probably left earlier to train and let her sleep in until it was time to go to work.

However, the words expecting her were not from someone that just left for a little bit. She could feel the deep meaning in those two words that made her heart sank.

Felicity quickly jumped from the bed and searched her phone.

"C'mon, pick up!" she urged while the rings echoed beside her ear.

He didn't pick up.

After trying his house and having the same result, she called Diggle.

"Do you know where Oliver is?" Felicity asked as soon as she heard her friends' deep voice.

"No, shouldn't he be with you? He told me you two would go to work together." Diggle replied, feeling that there was something deeply wrong in that. He could feel through Felicity's tone that something happened.

"I'm going to call Thea." Felicity said and before Diggle could say something else she hanged up on him.

But neither Thea or Sara or Roy or even Moira knew where Oliver was. And it wasn't until Diggle received a message from Lyla that he knew what was happening.

_Call him._

And a phone number after the words.

When Oliver's voice answered, Dig felt all the air leave his lungs. He was alive!

And then the rage filled him.

"What the hell are you doing?" Diggle roared and he felt the deep intake of breath from his friend.

"I know where the responsible ones for the mirakuru research are…" Oliver answered simply and Diggle cursed.

"And what? Are you going to take them out all by yourself? What the hell, man? Why couldn't you tell us? Do you know how worried Felicity is?" Diggle asked.

"I know all of that, and I also know that she would want to go with me. And that's why I couldn't tell any of you… Lyla gave me the info just hours before I left… I wouldn't be able to lie to either of you if I knew beforehand… I'm protecting you…" Oliver sighed and Diggle frowned.

"By putting yourself in danger… What do you want me to say to Felicity? That you didn't trust our abilities? That we would be nuisances?" Diggle asked and Oliver felt his gut wrench. This was exactly why he didn't tell Diggle, the man had an uncanny ability to make him feel bad and step back from his less than optimal plans. This time he was just too late for that.

"No, I didn't want you here, because I can't guarantee all of us would be safe…" Oliver replied.

A few heartbeats later, Diggle cursed inwardly. The silence was now too oppressive.

"So, you are sacrificing yourself…" Dig whispered, feeling the oxygen evaporate from the room. Oliver didn't want them there, not because he didn't trust them, but because he was sure it would be a suicide mission.

"What do you want me to tell her?" Dig asked. He wanted to say a lot of things, like _Don't do that!, Wait for help!, Think about Thea and Felicity!_ But he knew Oliver was doing this exactly for the two women, to let them have some kind of a peaceful future. Even if he was not in that future.

"Just…" his voice embargoed in his throat. "Just take care of her… and Thea… I will try my hardest to come back…" Oliver said and before Diggle could say something else the other side of the line went silent.

Diggle found himself faced with one of the hardest choices he had to make. A) He could tell Felicity the man she loved was going to get himself killed, and stop her hopes from growing, or B) tell her he would come back and was just acting like an overprotective boyfriend keeping her away.

He was still unsure of what to say when he reached the foundry, after receiving a text from Sara to come over.

When he heard the grunts of rage echoing inside the place, he peaked to see Felicity and Sara training with each other, while Roy trained his aim with a bow.

As soon as the group heard Diggle's footsteps they stopped and looked at him expectantly. He looked only at Felicity. And as soon as he did that, he knew that she knew.

"Lyla talked to me…" she said simply and turned her back on Diggle to keep punching the training dummy.

"Felicity…" the man said, reaching his arm to touch her shoulder.

The woman froze and her movements stopped.

"He thought we would be weak spots…" she whispered and Dig's plan of giving her the second answer crumbled.

"No…" he said. "He didn't tell us, because he thinks it is a suicide mission…" Diggle said and Felicity turned around quicker than he thought possible, her ponytail whipping against her face and neck.

"What?" Felicity replied and Diggle felt like the world fell over his shoulders while he recounted his conversation with Oliver.

Felicity was silent the entire time. However, what scared John the most were her eyes. They looked far away and empty, the brilliance of her blue irises lost.

"Felicity..." Sara whispered, while trying to reach her shoulder. But the other woman was quicker and turning around she left the foundry.

Dig ran behind her. An upset Felicity he knew what to expect from, but she was as far away from upset as Roy was from finishing "War and Peace".

Diggle reached her when she was fumbling with her car keys. He grabbed her hands and made her turn around.

"You can't drive like that." he said and he felt her frame tremble.

"I need to be alone, please." Felicity said in a stable tone. "Just for a few hours." she completed, before letting the keys fall over his outstretched fingers.

Diggle realized she needed to be all by herself. She had to face her new reality and what it meant. A reality where Oliver might not have a part in.

But Diggle couldn't believe it. He knew his friend too well and there was no one fiercer than Oliver Queen, especially if it was an Oliver Queen trying to come back to a younger sister and a babbling girlfriend. He knew his friend would do the impossible to return. He wouldn't leave Felicity and Thea alone. He would come back.

* * *

While walking through the busy city, Felicity found herself in front of QC. She stopped and almost reached her hand to push the enormous glass door.

But something stopped her.

She didn't know if it was the perspective of entering the place where she spent so much time with Oliver, or just the oppressive feeling of seeing his empty office.

Their empty office.

A space they shared, where he smiled at her through the glass separating them when he saw her drinking coffee while he was left empty handed.

A space where she liked to wave at him and mimic their hidden messages, while he was at a meeting.

And a place where, when there was no one else around, she liked to sit in his leather couch, with her tablet over her knees preparing some mission or a meeting, while he finished reading an email and then gazed at her, until she looked up and presented him with her shy smile.

Felicity closed her eyes for seconds and then opening them again, she turned around and walked the five miles until she reached her apartment.

Walking gave her time to think… even if the thoughts running around her mind were far away from happy ones.

Even with everything that happened in the past, she never conceived the idea of him dying… _hurting yes, but the inevitably of dying, the no-return, the buried part_ , never…

_**But he wouldn't die!** _

He was Oliver Queen, he survived five years in a hellish island, he survived bullet wounds, knife wounds, fire, water, beatings… and he always came back to her…

She couldn't think like that!

He was her Oliver!

And for all those months, she waited.

She waited without knowing if he was alive or dead. She would walk into Queen Consolidated to see Moira behind Oliver's desk and a sense of despair would fill her chest every day. Not that the woman said anything to her to make her feel like that. Actually, it was like their face to face at Queen Mansion, when Felicity tried to make Moira tell the truth about Thea never happened. She would act like a formal CEO, but never hurtful. Felicity couldn't be sure if it was because Moira knew Oliver and she had a relationship or if Walter's constant visits kept the woman from forgetting Felicity was friends with her former husband and still loved one. And she wanted to stay on his good side. Maybe she even thought that Felicity's actions were brave… but for all the good she was at reading Oliver, Moira Queen was a much harder nut to crack.

Thea would pop out from time to time, always waiting for her downstairs and Felicity wondered how the younger woman avoided her mother while living under the same roof. She wondered if she spent more nights at Roy's than her own house.

And Felicity trained.

She trained until she fell over the mats in exhaustion, the beeping of her computers as soundtrack. She would train until her latest research alerted her of new info and then, there she was, their Oracle, their omnipresent voice, guiding them and helping them defy fate.

Sara and Diggle continued the training she started after Felicity left the hospital, helping her built her self-awareness and using her small body and speed to surprise her attacker and win the match. Even Roy trained with her once, but since he was too fearful of attacking her, he wouldn't do more than circle around her and try to grab her. She loved the boy, but he was too worried about her safety to really be a good sparring match. Sara, in that field, was much better. She knew what it meant to be a woman in a men's world, and she knew how to rise from that and show just how badass she could be. And Felicity was ready to take the other woman's advice very seriously. Since Dig could see she was in good hands, he started training with Roy, helping him guide his strength, a work Oliver left half done and that the former soldier was ready to finish.

And then, in that rainy day, when she forgot her umbrella at home and while running towards QC after her lunch, she found him, in front of the big doors made of glass.

Felicity skidded, her heart hammering inside her chest. It was like the rain suddenly stopped and the only sound she could hear was the rush of blood inside her head. She didn't want to believe, because believing meant hope and hope meant disappointment when the man would turn and she saw it was not him. It wouldn't be the first time it happened…

And then he really turned around and faced her and it was like a brand new shot of adrenaline was punched into her chest. She had tunnel vision, she only saw him. His downcast eyes that started at her feet and rose, observing all of her body, the dark shadows under his eyes, almost looking like bruises, showing how haggard he was. His hollow cheeks displaying his cheekbones in a sickening way. She felt her stomach flip and she had to suppress the gasp of anguish. She was ready to run into his arms when the glass door opened and she saw Diggle. He was frozen, eyeing the newcomer like he couldn't believe.

And in a flashback those six months came back to her and she felt rage bubbling inside her.

Felicity stomped towards Oliver and before anyone could do or say anything she swung her arm and her fist connected with his jaw. Oliver and Diggle were left speechless, observing her small frame trembling under the rain.

"YOU JERK!" she yelled, before grabbing his already bruising jaw and kissing him fiercely.

She wanted to be mad at him, she wanted to kick him and punch him again, but she couldn't. His face, the thing she dreamed every night for the last six months, showed all the predicaments he had to go through and she couldn't pile her own frustrations into that, at least not now.

She would talk to him and once and for all make him understand they were a team and he couldn't gallantly go into an unknown place to sacrifice himself.

_If one goes, all of them go!_

But for now, she melted into his arms, noticing that his muscles seemed feebler than she remembered, if such a word could ever be applied to Oliver Queen, and archived that information for a latter conversation.

"Let's go home." Felicity whispered and Oliver touched her forehead with his own. Unknown to them, Diggle ran toward the garage, ready to take them wherever they wanted. They couldn't feel the rain anymore, the way their warmness sipped into each other.

"Don't you have work to do?" Oliver asked. He wanted nothing more than stay with her, but he was done messing with her life. He pulled her under the small protection in front of QC and looked up to observe the higher floors.

"Your mother will understand when she knows the reason." Felicity says and Oliver sighs.

"I'm sorry I left you with her." he says and Felicity shakes her head.

"She never treated me badly. And besides, we needed to keep a cover." she answers and Oliver looks at her curiously.

But before Felicity could continue a black car stopped in front of them.

Diggle stepped out, the rain running through his black jacket and opened the door for them.

"Mr. Queen." he said with a clipped expression, while the couple ran inside.

And after starting the car once again, he continued.

"At least someone kept the black driver." Dig said with mirth and Oliver rolled his eyes. He could imagine Felicity's reaction to being driven to and from work.

"So what is the cover?" he asked.

"We told your mother you had burnout, with all that happened with Thea and all the responsibilities and Blood's death, you couldn't stay here longer, so you left to be alone."

Moira knew Blood was a friend of Oliver, she knew he died and she had no idea the part he played in Thea's kidnap or who Slade Wilson really was.

"And what was the story she told the investors?"

"That you were working in QC's Asian branch." Felicity said. It wouldn't take a brainer to know Moira wouldn't let the public know Oliver had a psychological break down, it would look bad on her part as Mayor and Queen Consolidated.

Oliver nodded his head. He needed to have a serious conversation with his mother, needed to regain his place as CEO and finally put his life in the right track.

"And Roy and Sara?" he asked and Felicity started telling about her training with Sara and how Roy found a calm mentor in Diggle.

"What should I say? The kid likes me better." Dig said from the front and Felicity smiled at her friend.

She knew Diggle needed and would have a serious conversation with Oliver, just like she needed to do, but for now, they were happy the mission was over and Oliver was back. Both of them saw the toll it took on him, the way his eyes still jumped from place to place and how his body changed in the months apart.

Diggle recognized the way Oliver acted, it was like the time when he came back from the island for the first time. The way his muscles tensed, like a wild animal, ready to pounce or run. And he knew Felicity could feel that too, he noticed the way her fingers stroke his hand when his muscles tensed to a taxi driver's reckless move in front of their car.

Every mission took something from any soldier, Diggle knew it better than anyone. And it gave something back, not always what you would desire or wish, but something that turned part of you, even if you don't notice it.

The protective stance Oliver had on Felicity and the way his eyes softened when she spoke made it clear to Diggle that maybe this last mission was a blessing in disguise. Probably for the first time, Oliver Queen fought, not because he wanted to avenge his father, his friend or his sister, but because he had someone to come back to.

* * *


	17. Outtake 2 - Family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Queen family gets bigger

_ 12.00 Pm _

_Oliver Queen was terrified._

It was nothing like the moments he spent on the Island, or during his training with the Bratva, when Felicity was shot or even when his sister was kidnapped.

He couldn't do anything against the thing that was terrifying him and even if he could, he didn't want to, he wouldn't want to.

And if it wasn't for his best friend's support and the wall behind his body he was sure he would be once again on the floor right now.

He saw Sara approaching them with quick strides and behind her Roy and Thea, the last one almost running to accompany her boyfriend's speed.

When the three arrived he was bombarded with quick questions from Thea, while Diggle tried to explain what happened.

"Isn't this too soon?" Roy asked and Thea cringed beside him.

" _Nice one, Roy!_ " she said sarcastically, nodding towards her brother's pale face.

"I mean… soon is good, right? It means he is strong already, right?" Roy tried to say, while Diggle shook his head and Sara sent him a look that clearly said _"You are not helping."_

"I just need to know if they are alright…" Oliver said and no one had the courage to try and say everything would be fine, because they couldn't make that promise and all of them knew what a promise meant to Oliver.

"Mr. Queen?" someone called and the group parted to let a man in a white coat step closer to Oliver.

"Your wife is ready, do you want to be with her during the process?" the newcomer asked and Oliver breathed deeply.

"Yes." he replied, while Diggle tapped his shoulder and Thea hugged him.

"She is strong." Sara said, kissing his cheek.

"Yeah, she had to put up with you…" Roy replied and Oliver had to smile at the younger man's antics.

"Follow me…" the doctor said and Oliver walked away.

As soon as he disappeared the group felt their shoulders sag with a heavy feeling.

"If something happens to her…" Thea started saying, her eyes shiny with unshed tears.

And no one had to complete the sentence. They all knew what the missing words were.

_If something happens to her, Oliver dies._

* * *

_**Three hours earlier** _

_9.00 pm_

" _Oliver, you will find two men inside the next room. They are sitting and don't know what happened. They are playing cards on the computer…" Felicity said, with a smile tugging at her lips. Seriously, this mission was so easy, she could do it herself._

" _No, you couldn't!" she heard the roar coming from Oliver and realized she said the last words out loud._

" _Sure, Mr. Grumpy…" she sighed and heard Diggle's laugh from the coms._

" _Please, let you marital problems out of my comm, please…" he asked. "It's bad enough that I had to be the lookout… I'm getting tired of staying in this car…" Dig sighed._

" _Do you really wanna have that conversation?" Felicity asked and she could almost hear the man rolling his eyes. "Good!"_

_Suddenly, they heard the distinctive sound of someone kicking down a door and the growling voice of Oliver threatening the two criminals._

" _Where are the kids?" he roared._

" _Downstairs…" one of the men whispered._

_Felicity couldn't see exactly what Oliver was doing, but the sounds she could hear looked like he punched the two men and handcuffed them to their table._

_She could hear his steps echoing through the silent house and descending some stairs. When he opened a door, she heard him sigh._

" _The kids are here. They are alright…" Oliver said and Felicity smiled openly._

_The girl and boy were the daughter and son of a very influential politic, trying to come up with a harsher law against the drug dealers in the Glades. They were taken 24 hours ago, from their school, to try and blackmail the man into giving up his plans._

_The Arrow would not let that happen._

_They had already find the mastermind behind the plan and now, with the children safe, the mission was complete._

" _I already called the police… They will be there in ten minutes…" Dig announced and Oliver was ready to wait until he could hear the sirens to make his escape when a sudden gasp followed by a scream echoed inside his ear._

" _ **Felicity!** " he yelled, and he heard her breathing deeply with gasps of pain permeating her side._

" _ **FELICITY!** " he yelled more violently, when she failed to answer._

" _Oh gosh, aaaaahhhh!" he heard her try to suppress her scream of pain and immediately started running._

" _What the hell is going on?" Diggle asked from his ear and Oliver cursed out loud._

It couldn't be. It was too soon. They still had two months until the date.

" _Is it…?" Dig asked and Oliver cursed once again._

_He left the building, while Diggle ran inside. They couldn't let the children by themselves, but Oliver couldn't stay there any longer. He had to find Felicity._

" _Oliver…" he heard Felicity whispering, her voice so frail it broke his heart in tiny pieces. "There is blood…" she said almost imperceptibly and Oliver felt like his insides suddenly disappeared. He felt hollow inside. His lungs no longer there to give him oxygen, his blood missing because of his heart's absence…_

" _I'm coming!" he growled, jumping into his motorcycle and not for the first time he thanked for Felicity always making them have two escape vehicles. The motorcycle would be quicker than the car._

_When he arrived at the foundry, he found Felicity sitting on the floor, her legs stretched and her eyes closed. For some terrifying moments he thought he was too late, but then she gasped again and he kneeled beside her._

" _Felicity, I'm here…" he said, combing her hair. He saw the small pool of blood between her legs and immediately grabbed her body, careful not to squish her big belly._

" _Oliver, I'm scared…" she whispered, while he transported her through the stairs. He took her into their spare car and answered her only when they were already on the move._

" _Me too…" he replied and he felt her hand coming from the back seat to grab his arm._

" _What if something happens to the baby?" she asks and Oliver had to stop the anguish from sipping under the form of a sob._

_He stood in silence, while driving around town. At least the club was not so far away from the nearest hospital._

" _We are already here…" he said, not wanting to make false promises. And Felicity knew, when he failed to answer her, that he had no idea how this night would end._

_During the entire time of her pregnancy they always skirted around one deep, complex question. If something happened, who would Oliver choose to save?_

_And now, that the situation arose, they had no idea what to do._

" _Please, I need help! My wife is bleeding and she is having contractions!" Oliver yelled as soon as he entered the hospital._

_A flock of nurses joined them, while yelled orders were given._

_Oliver saw a hospital bed being rolled towards them and without a second to spare he laid Felicity there. She was pale and sweaty, her hands fisting her dress when a contraction hit her again._

" _What is going on?" Oliver asked to anyone and no one, but he was ignored. He saw the nurses taking Felicity away and tried to run after them, but was stopped by a man with a white coat._

" _You can't go in there, now…" the doctor said. "As soon as we can talk to you I will come here…" he said, and before Oliver could say anything, the man left._

_Oliver started pacing the hallway, his hands fisting his hair, while his eyes jumped wildly towards every direction. He could feel the sting in his eyes and the tears running from them, but he couldn't worry less about that._

**_His wife and son were in danger!_ **

**_He could lost one or the two of them!_ **

**_What was he going to do if that happens?_ **

**_He can't live without Felicity! She is his rock, his flicker of light in the middle of darkness, his everything… And their baby, their Thomas, their dream, their hope in having a better world…_ **

_Oliver fell against the wall, his body stopping only when it reached the floor. He could sense other people's stares but he couldn't make himself worry about that, when Felicity and Thomas were on the line._

_He could still see her pale face and the doctor's expression when he left. It was that of a man that was already seeing the outcome, and it wouldn't be happy._

" _Oliver…" a deep voice said somewhere over him and Oliver opened his eyes and looked up._

_Diggle was there, his face sad and worried. He could see the haggard expression on his best friend's eyes._

" _They took her… Dig, I saw the doctor's expression…" Oliver said and Diggle felt like he just stabbed himself. "There was blood… There shouldn't be blood…"_

_Dig kneeled in front of Oliver and pulled him up with him._

" _Look at me!" John said and Oliver looked up. "Felicity is a strong woman! When the doctor comes to take you to her, you can't let her see you like this! You have to be strong as well! Fight, Oliver!" Diggle said and Oliver's throat felt like it was going to close._

_But Felicity's smiling face when she felt the baby kick for the first time and how she ran to him, so he could feel as well, helped him keep a grip on himself._

" _Mr. Queen?" a man called and Oliver turned around to see the doctor that left with Felicity._

" _Your wife had_ _Placental abruption, this is a separation of the placenta and the uterus, it explains the pains and the blood loss. We have to do a C-section… The mother and the baby are in danger… We are already preparing your wife… In a few moments I will come here again and you can decide if you want to be in the room or not…" the doctor said. He turned around and left once again._

_Oliver could feel the strengths leaving his body once again. The man didn't say anything about outcomes…_

_And it was in that moment that their friends and family appeared._

* * *

_12.20 pm_

"She is receiving the proper medication." The doctor said, when Oliver squeezed Felicity's hand and saw her eyes focus on him.

"It hurts…" Felicity whispered sleepily.

"I know, sweetheart… I'm sorry…" Oliver said and he saw her eyes widden.

"You never call me sweetheart…" Felicity replied and Oliver saw her eyes saddening. "Am I going to die?" she asked dazed, and he knew the meds were already taking an affect over her. Felicity, in her sober state, would never ask such a question.

"Mrs. Queen..."

"It's Smoak-Queen..." she said drunkily and Oliver smiled sadly.

"Okay, Mrs. Smoak-Queen, I'm going to ask you to count from ten to zero, okay?" a petite nurse said and Felicity looked at her.

"Okay…" she said softly and Oliver heard her voice start the count.

Ten... nine... eight... seven... six...

"Five…" and her hand fell limp inside his hand and her eyes closed.

"She is asleep…" the woman said and Oliver realized it was time, it was now or never.

If someone asked him what happened inside that room he could describe every breath Felicity took and nothing else. His attention was solely attached to her sleeping face, her pale cheeks, the puffs of air released by her lips… _until a whimper followed by a cry made him look up so quickly he thought he would have a wryneck…_

The doctor was looking at him with the now silent child over his arms.

"Do you want to hold him?" one of the nurses asked and Oliver gave a step back, instinctively.

Not because he didn't want to hold his son, but because his hands were shaking so badly he feared he would break the small baby. _How could he protect and take care of such a fragile being? He must have been crazy to want a child! What if he hated him? What if he hurt this human being? What if…?_

The baby started crying again, this time with a desperate tone.

Oliver jumped forward without a second thought.

"What is going on? Is he okay?" he asked frantically, snatching the baby from the doctor's arms and putting him against his own chest.

The nurse that had asked him if he wanted to hold Thomas smiled at his reaction and Oliver gasped. He had done it. He had hold his son and he hadn't break him.

And the baby calmed down…

"He likes the sound of your voice…" the nurse said softly and Oliver smiled goofily at his son.

When he looked up to eye the doctor he saw a smile all over the man's face, a smile that clearly said he just witnessed a miracle.

"They will be just fine…" the man said and Oliver couldn't control the big smile that appeared all over his face. _He was doing that a lot today… he had to be careful or people would think he was turning softie…_

"When will Felicity wake up?" Oliver asked, while the nurse took the baby to wrap him in a towel.

"Half an hour…" the doctor said, while Oliver watched the woman cleaning his baby. His skin was alabaster just like Felicity's.

"Can we stay with her?" Oliver asked and the doctor nodded.

"We just have to take some measures of the baby and you can take him to Mrs. Smoak-Queen's room…" the doctor said.

When Oliver found himself and Thomas beside Felicity in a private room, he couldn't control the tears that were threatening to fall.

"That is your mommy…" he whispered to a sleeping Thomas. "She is so brave… And I was so scared of losing both of you… She always sees the best in people… she brings this light into my life that I thought I had lost… You will love her so much… And she will worship you…" Oliver said. He knew it would happen, Felicity would love every little detail of their baby.

He stood there for forty minutes, until her eyelids trembled and finally opened. Oliver immediately took her hand, careful not to jostle Thomas.

"Oliver…" Felicity whispered, her eyes trying to focus. "Where are my glasses? I need my HD!" she said and Oliver laughed.

Felicity turned to look at him when her eyes fell over the bundle inside his arms.

"Is that him?" she whispered, like she was scared of the answer.

"Yes… let me help you…" he said, when Felicity tried to sit against the headboard.

He helped Felicity sitting and then transferred the baby into her waiting arms. Thomas, feeling the change in holder, opened his eyes. Felicity gasped, when Oliver's eyes looked back at her from a small face.

"He is perfect…" she gasped reverently. She couldn't take her eyes from the baby and she wasn't sure if she wanted to.

"He looks just like his mother…" Oliver said.

"And has his father's eyes and charm…" Felicity replied, finally taking her eyes from the baby to look at her husband. "Thank you… for helping me bringing this being into the world."

"No, thank you for not giving up on me!" Oliver said fervently and without a second to spare he kissed her passionately. And he would have done more if not for the small squishy thing inside Felicity's arms.

They heard a knock on the bedroom door and a second later, Dig's head popped into the room with a big smile all over his face.

"Thank you, man, for telling us she was alright!" he said, while walking into the room. Oliver had the graciousness of looking ashamed, but Diggle laughed. "No problem, the doc let us know…" and without waiting he peeked into the bundle and smiled at the newborn.

"Meet uncle Dig…" Felicity said and John's smile opened even more.

"Oh, I was almost forgetting…." He said, putting a big brown teddy bear with a black tie next to Felicity.

"Can I enter?" a female voice asked and Sara entered the room.

She looked at Diggle with a defying look and when her eyes landed on the teddy bear she looked back at him with disdain. It was not lost on Felicity and Oliver, and they were ready to ask what was going on, when Sara put on the other side of Felicity a big canary and locked eyes with Dig.

" _Are you…?_ " Felicity started to ask, when the door was open once again and Roy entered with a bear bigger than himself wearing a red vest, and all her doubts were erased when she heard Thea's words.

"Are they here already? I told you, you should be quicker choosing the bear!"

"Are you racing to see who gives the first toy to Thomas?" Oliver asked, while Sara gushed over the baby and talked softly with Felicity.

Thea ignored him in her haste to see her nephew and Roy choose not to answer, while peeking at the baby beside his girlfriend.

"Because, if you are, you lost. I was the first, I bought him a fox right after Felicity told me…" Oliver said, his chest puffing out.

"Hum…" Felicity said, while Thea rocked the baby from side to side under the mesmerized look of Roy that looked like he had never seen a baby before. " _Actually…_ "

Oliver looked at her with a dismayed smile.

"The elephant was just too cute…"

* * *

**If you are confused about the fox, the idea came from Disney's Robin Hood, and about the elephant, it's one of the most intelligent animals and when he gets a scent he can go for miles until he finds the being it belongs to (a bit like our Felicity and her computers when chasing a criminal)**

**I know Oliver is very emotional in this one, but c'mon, he thought he was going to lose his wife and kid, and Thomas is just too cute (in my head)! His father couldn't hold the waterworks.**


	18. Outtake 3 - The women he loves the most

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bonding time between Felicity and Thea.

Oliver didn't mean to pry. He was just going to ask his sister if she wanted pizza, since he was going to order for the rest of the team.

He had left Diggle and Sara on the living room, watching a MMA combat. For once, all of them could stay in one place, with no fight or threat to the city.

However, when he reached Thea's door he stopped in his track, hearing her voice talking with someone. He knew it wasn't Roy, since the last time he saw the boy he was rummaging the fridge in their kitchen. And when he heard the other person answer back, he realized it was Felicity. He looked towards the end of the hallway, where he had left her twenty minutes ago, immersed into The Hobbit, in the mansion's gigantic library.

" _It's... hard._.." he heard his sister say and felt a pang of guilt, a normal feeling, nowadays, every time he heard that kind of tone.

"Knowing that this life you lead was much more complicated than you realized. That your history isn't all that yours, but a result of others' actions." Felicity answered and Oliver could remember as it was yesterday how it felt finding out he had somehow provoked the death of the fathers of the two women he loved the most. Even if they were far away from model parents.

He could clearly remember Thea's face when he was dragged by Roy from the burning factory where she was kept by Slade. It spoke of loss, anger, disappointment.

_"You are him." were the only words that left her mouth before she closed herself like a shell._

He knew Roy was given the same treatment, if his downcast face when he left the mansion, whenever he tried to see her, were of any indication.

Moira knew her daughter was taken by someone and saved by the Arrow, and somehow during that time found out about her biological father, but she couldn't start to comprehended just how far her disappointment went, with not only her mother, but Oliver, Felicity and even more important, the man she always saw as a father, Walter.

It was not only finding out that your father killed more than 500 people, but that your brother keeps running around town, hidden, putting himself in danger, and not letting her into that part of him. Worse was knowing Roy knew about that and kept lying to her.

Now she spoke a bit more, tried to engage in conversations and let Roy stay, but still, her smile was too forced, her eyes too sad, her expression too lost. He feared his sister was losing herself into her own mind.

Oliver felt like his head would explode.

"Thea, did I ever tell you about my parents?" Felicity asked and Oliver wanted to alert of his presence, but didn't want to break the spell of confidence in each other that the women were showing. So he stayed put, praying that neither of his friends found him in that predicament. Truth be told, he felt mesmerized by the women he was observing.

"My father was a doctor. He was working on a project that, according to his own believes would be a good thing, something that could help someone that he cared about that was very sick, his little sister… she had a rare disease and he wanted to make everything he could to save her… and he did unspeakable things, he tortured people and he killed them… he made experiments that hurt people, because he was so obsessed he forgot what human nature really was… and for years he searched for it… and when he finally found it, all his mistakes came back to haunt him and he died… before he could help his sister…" Felicity told and Oliver sighed.

He could remember all too well when his girlfriend finally started digging about her father, helped by some informations Sara had and things they found in Slade's computers. Her mother had never told her anything about the rest of the family and so, it felt like seeing someone's else life, someone else's family in display.

He could still remember how she looked at him when she found out about her aunt. It was some kind of hopeful expression that they might do something to help her, but then, finding her death certificate, Felicity's expression fell. For a few seconds he realized she thought she could somehow try to right her father's wrongs, even in a small way, or maybe just bring comfort to someone who needed it…

"I can't see him as my father, you know? Before the Gambit went down I had my dad, _my real dad,_ the man that raised me, and after that, Walter came and he made me feel like I had a new dad, he worried about me, and he helped me when I had problems in Math or in choosing a gift to mom… But Malcolm Merlyn… he was always Tommy's father… he never mingled or made me feel at ease, not like Walter did, even before my dad died… It's not about him… it's about me… or rather what I perceived my life as being and what it actually turned out to be… I thought after the Undertaking, the lies would stop, the deceive, the half-truths…" Thea said and Oliver heard sighing. He moved his head a centimeter to the right and discovered he could see the reflections of the women in Thea's mirror.

Thea was sitting cross-legged over her bed, while Felicity sat beside her, her legs tucked under her bottom.

"What did you thought when you found out about your father?" Thea asked and Felicity played with the hem of her shirt.

"When you are abandoned as a child… you kind of have to fend off by yourself, you know? My mother wasn't all that great, so… I grew up by myself… well, myself and my computers and my books… when I found out about my father, at first, someone told me he was a good guy, that he left my mother because he couldn't put up with her anymore, but that he wanted to take me with him…" Felicity explained and Thea nodded.

"The man that kidnaped me…" Thea said and Felicity looked back at her, surprised. "I remember him yelling about your father and I heard you talking with Oliver once about that…" Thea elucidated.

"Well, yes… he tried to win my trust, but a lot of things happened and he showed his true colors… I think that was the worst, because, if I knew the truth at first I wouldn't create an image inside my head that would make the process of losing him all over again that much harder…" Felicity said and Thea bit her lower lip. It was a tell-tale of her own thoughts that spoke about her comprehension of Felicity's predicament.

"I had this image, in my head, of my brother… Even after I realized he would never be the same Oliver that left in that boat, I thought… that somehow he would, someday return to me, as in, trust me with his fears and his scars… I guess I didn't see that coming…" Thea said and Oliver knew she was talking about his secret identity as the Arrow. "Everything is just so confusing in my head. I can't look at my mom and not remember that she lied to us all of our lives, I can't look at Oliver without seeing his hood, I can't look at Roy and not see his scarred and bloody face when he found me in that factory… Even you lied, Felicity! When Oliver brought you here for the first time to present you as his girlfriend you were so awkward I thought it would be impossible for you to be a gold digger, and I cared for you, because I could see that smile in my brother's face that made him seem so younger… I remember how he looked like when you were at the hospital… I trusted in you, in all of you… and finding out that everyone around me was living a life of pretenses just destroys all these images of us that I created…" Thea confessed, her hands fisting her bed covers. Felicity's hand reached to grab one of the younger woman and squeezed it.

"We lied, we created a life of make-believe, all of us had a double life, be it the CEO, the black driver or the awful secretary, but if there is one thing none of us had to lie about was how we felt about you! Oliver left when you were a girl and he came back to find a woman… I can't tell you how that still plagues his mind, not being here to see you growing up… but if there is one thing I can guarantee you is that he loves you more than anything in this world… lying to you was the hardest thing he had to do, but all he did was to…"

" _To protect me, I know that_ …" Thea replied quickly and Felicity smiled sadly.

"Yes and no… he wanted to protect you, that I have no doubt about, but he wanted to create some kind of normalcy for you, he wanted and still wants to be a better brother to you… he has a lot of faults, he is moody, and yells and broods, and is so hot head that sometimes I just want to pour a bucket of ice over him… but, even with all that, he wanted to give you a bit of the brother you lost… and he tried to be that person he was, at least with you, that happier, lighter man, but his scars are sometimes too hard to shoulder and he lets that darkness envelop all his light…" Felicity whispered and Oliver wondered if she was speaking not only for Thea but for herself as well. Was he letting his darkness erase not only his own light but hers as well?

"You love my brother…" Thea said suddenly and he saw Felicity's cheeks aflame.

" _Hum… yes, I do…_ " Felicity whispered and Oliver felt his heart hammering inside his chest. They had never uttered the words per se, but if there was one thing he was sure about was his feelings about Felicity and hers about him. Someday he would say those words, not now, but someday, he was sure, and they would not be light-hearted or in the spur of the moment, they would show exactly how he felt, his inners thoughts and feelings, his devotion to her.

"He loves you too…" Thea said, now smiling a bit more. Oliver felt his insides warmer, seeing that smile in his sister's face, it was not the fake one she had be wearing these last weeks and that made him feel much lighter.

"I know…" Felicity said, with a big smile of her own. He could see her shining eyes and he smiled back, even if she couldn't see him.

"I love him too…" Thea said, suddenly serious once again.

"He knows that… don't worry…" Felicity replied calmly.

"I'm scared I can't go back to be who I used to be…"

"Thea… I'm sorry to disappoint you, but you will never be who you used to be… when we learn something meaningful it changes us, when we pass through a traumatic experience it changes us, when we realize we are much stronger than we thought, it changes us… And all that just happened to you… you are a different Thea, with all the abilities and knowledge of the old Thea and all the strengths and skills of the new Thea…"

"It looks like you are talking about a computer operative system…" Thea laughed.

"Computers can't lie… but they can't feel either… and you, Thea Queen, are a feeler…" Felicity said, cringing right after the words left her mouth. "I mean, a feeler as in having feels, not the perverted kind of feeling up other people like while in a bar or other places, that I will stop talking about… right now…" Oliver had to stop the laugh from leaving his lips while he saw Felicity trying to explain herself, her hands waving around and almost slapping Thea on the face.

"Don't worry, I think everyone knows you really don't mean what our first thoughts tell us you mean…" Thea calmed the older woman down and grabbed her hand. "Thank you for listening to me…"

"You are welcome, but you know I'm not the only one that should hear this, do you?" Felicity asked and Thea nodded.

"Ollie and Roy… and even mom, I guess… not in the telling her about the Arrow way, but having some kind of truce…" Thea sighed, while Felicity rose from the bed.

Oliver realized they were ending their conversation and trying to be as inconspicuous as he could be, he tried to step back far enough so he could pretend just coming up right now.

"Do that…" Felicity said, before hugging the girl. It was the last thing Oliver saw, before he was far enough.

When Felicity left the room, Oliver was walking towards it.

"Everything all right?" he asked and Felicity nodded. "I just wanted to ask Thea if she wanted pizza… I'm ordering for the guys…" Oliver said, grabbing his girlfriend's hand and squeezing it. He wanted to thank her for everything, he wanted to hug her, and kiss her and do all the crazy things he could think about, but he settled for the hand squeeze and the forehead kiss. Those were simple things, but for them meant a world full of memories and trust in each other.

"Yes! But don't forget the pineapple in mine!" Thea said, her head popping out of her door, before she opened it and walked into the hallway.

"Someone is happy…" Oliver said with a smile and Thea walked towards him.

"You have to thank your girlfriend for that… By the way, she is a keeper… you should start looking for rings…" Thea said, before walking swiftly with a mischievous smile on her face.

"She is so…light…" Oliver said watching his sister's retreating form.

"She needs to vent her own frustrations and fears and I needed to talk, so…" Felicity replied, shrugging her shoulders, her cheeks red and her eyes not looking at him. "Now, what if we go downstairs and you make sure they don't forget my pepperoni?" Felicity proposed, tugging his hand and retreating quickly.

Oliver saluted her in a mock serious way and followed her downstairs.

However, even if both of them choose to ignore Thea's last words, they still ringed inside his head. And, surprising himself, Oliver found out it wasn't such an odd concept for him, imagining her with a ring in her left hand… maybe after the "I love you" he could start thinking about that…

* * *

**I started thinking about how Thea and Felicity could bond over their less than ideal fathers and this baby was born. I hope I wasn't too occ with Thea, I really think she grew up a lot during these two seasons and is far away from the teen we first met.  
**

 


	19. Outtake 4 - The Oracle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The story of Felicity's new code name.

_This one happens after the Outtake 3 - with Felicity and Thea bonding over their fathers, but before Oliver left for six months.  
_

* * *

"Oliver, you have five men in the second floor. Wait for Dig…" Felicity was saying when, suddenly, her camera feed was cut, her screens blackened and she felt apprehension settle inside her stomach. "Damn, they cut the signal!" she swore under her breathe and heard Oliver hiss a curse in Russian.

"Can you turn them on?" Oliver asked and Felicity answered negatively.

"They probably cut the power…"

"I can't let them be… they have 50 hostages, Felicity!" Oliver growled back.

Felicity hissed back, a "No! It's too dangerous!" leaving her mouth.

They could hear Diggle's voice in the comm, trying to placate Oliver and stopping him from acting in a reckless way.

"I'm five minutes away!" he said and the both of them could hear his quick steps, while running through the building.

Just thirty minutes ago they had receive the information about a group of criminals taking hostages inside Starling City mall. It was almost closing time, so the number of people was way lesser than in another time of the day and the team couldn't be more thankful for that. Only Dig, Felicity and Oliver were in the Foundry at the time, and the two men left immediately to take the offenders down. Felicity had guided them through the corridors until her cameras went out and she was left standing in front of black screens with a stubborn man trying to play hero.

"I'm calling Sara!" Felicity announced and Oliver tried to dissuade her, but before she could do that, her phone started ringing and Sara's face appeared on the screen, in the next second she was hearing the other woman's voice mixed with the sounds of traffic and a car going at high velocity.

"I'm on my way. My dad received the news as well… Oliver and Diggle are there?" she asked.

"Yes, and Oliver is being a pain in the ass. Will you need Roy's help? He is with Thea, but…" Felicity said and she hated she might have to ruin their date, now that they were finally making amends after Thea found out Roy knew about Oliver's secret identity.

"No, I think we can take care of it. I really don't want to face Thea if her date is ruined because of us…" Sara said and Felicity agreed wholeheartedly.

"Did you hear it, Oliver? Sara is on her way and Diggle is one minute away from you, so hold still!" Felicity commanded.

"Felicity!" Oliver growled, but she was happy that his GPS tracker stopped moving. He could say whatever he wanted, but he still trusted her in this.

But then, all hell broke loose.

"So there is someone named Felicity in your merry group…" she heard a man's voice say through Oliver's earpiece and felt her blood run cold.

"Show yourself!" Oliver growled.

For a few moments everything was silent, until she heard the shuffle of feet and Oliver's almighty growl. The sounds of punches and kicks echoed through the lair and Felicity bit her lip, trying to stop herself from gasping when she heard the other man's fist punch Oliver. She didn't want to distract him, so she kept herself from making any noise, even when she heard the swishing of arrows through the air.

When everything quieted, she asked softly.

"Are you okay?"

"Yes! He is alive, just two arrows on the legs and knocked out." Oliver growled, and with a small click he disconnected the ear piece.

"Oliver?" Felicity called, surprised. "Oliver?! This is not funny!"

"What happened?" Diggle's voice came from the communicator and Felicity sighed.

"Oliver turned his earpiece off… Can you get him?" Felicity asked tiredly and Diggle replied affirmatively.

She could still hear her friend's steps and words and when he reached Oliver he was already engaged in a fight with the rest of the group.

Sara's grunts joined the men, her bo staff's sounds announcing her attacks and Felicity sighed when silence finally rose from their comms.

"Hey, you will be alright…" Dig said and Felicity realized he was probably talking with the victims.

She was typing furiously and finally was able of regaining control of the cameras. Whoever turned them off in the first place was no longer there or if he was, was handcuffed or knocked out on the ground. Oliver probably turned the energy on, knowing she would need that to see what was going on inside the place.

When her screen showed her the inside of the mall, she could see Diggle and Sara's frame, walking between the victims, checking on them.

"Where is Oliver?" Felicity asked, noticing his absence on the feed. She saw Diggle rising and look directly into the camera.

"He left." He answered simply and Felicity rolled her eyes. _What the hell happened for him to act like that?_

"Okay, but you two come back here, I need to talk to you." She said, a bit forcefully, but they knew that Oliver's actions were the one thing that was making her mad and not themselves.

"Copy that…" they answered simultaneously.

Felicity took her earpiece and almost threw it away in anger. Oliver was still coming down with all that happened with Thea, Slade and even Felicity, but he couldn't go into a dangerous place with his head out of the game. She was his eyes and ears for a damn reason! Why would he cut her out like that?

When, half an hour later, Diggle and Sara appeared, Felicity was waiting for them, calmer but still antsier than usual.

"Are you okay?" she asked, like she always did, whenever they arrived from a mission. Even if she was with them through the comms and heard everything that was happening or even saw it, she felt the need to know, to really see their expression when they answered her.

"We are fine…" Sara said, letting her body fall over a chair next to Felicity. "But you don't look so good…" Sara concluded, noticing her tense posture.

"What happened with Oliver?" Felicity asked, eyeing Dig. She knew he knew what happened, she could see his guarded posture and the way he crossed his arms in front of his chest.

"Did you hear what that man said?" Diggle asked and Felicity looked at him, confused. "When he said your name…" the man explained and the IT specialist's eyes widen.

"He left because of that?"

"He left because he put you in danger by just saying your name…" Diggle explained and Felicity rolled her eyes impatiently.

"He is too damn overprotective…" she sighed and felt her two friends move uncomfortably. "Wait! You agree with him? C'mon, how could someone find out who I am? Just by a first name?" Felicity asked, looking between Sara's uncomfortable expression and Diggle's amused one.

"Are you really asking that? You, better than anyone should know what someone might do with a name…" Dig said and Felicity scoffed.

"Well, not wanting to underestimate your computer skills, but I'm damn good at what I do…" Felicity replied with a smug smile and Sara chuckled.

"You know what?" Sara asked. "We should get you a code name, something to use during missions…" she suggested and Felicity turned to eye with a smile.

"See? That's why the world should be ruled by women! We get stuff done!" Felicity said and Diggle laughed.

"Poor Oliver, I really don't want to imagine your pillow talks…" Dig said and Felicity giggled, making the other two cringe. "That was not what I was talking about…" the man tried to correct himself, but it only made Felicity laugh even more.

"So, what should we call you?" Sara said, trying to bring the conversation into safer waters. "Dig is Riffle, Roy is Arsenal, I'm Canary and Oliver is The Arrow… All of it have a deep meaning to what we are…"

"What about Whiz?" a voice suddenly asked and they turned around to see Roy walking down the stairs.

"What about your date with Thea?" Felicity asked and the boy smiled.

"We are taking it slow, now. I took her home and she really hugged me for the first time in ages…" he said dreamily. Remembering that it was not only Felicity in there, he shook his head to get rid of those thoughts.

"Whiz?" Sara wondered.

"Yes, she is always inside our ears…" Roy replied and Diggle chuckled.

"No…" Felicity said.

"What about… computer whiz?" Roy tried again and Felicity scoffed at him.

"Stop with the whiz, okay?"

"Well, you can see everything, and do pretty much everything… what about The Goddess…" Roy suggested and Diggle exploded with laughter.

"Do you really want to call Felicity that in front of Oliver?" the other man asked and Roy blushed.

"Yeah, not such a good idea…"

"No, you are kind of right…" Sara said suddenly.

"What?" three different voices asked and she smiled at them.

"Not the last part, but about what Felicity does… she can almost see the future with all her knowledge… what if we call her The Oracle?" Sara replied with an excited voice.

"I like that…" Felicity said, with a smile.

"I still like the Whiz, but that is not so bad…" Roy replied with a snort at the look Felicity sent him.

"That's actually very truthful…" Dig said with an approving smile.

Felicity sat there with a smile on her smile, thinking about her new code name when her phone suddenly ringed. Oliver's tone, Come Home from One Republic, started echoeing through the lair, and Felicity's arm stretched quickly to grab it, but Sara was quicker.

"This is The Oracle's personal number, what can we do for you?" she said, putting the call on speaker. Roy sneakered under his breath.

"What?" Oliver's voice was surprised and shocked.

"This is The Oracle's personal number. She is waiting for your request of her almighty powers…" Sara answered again and Diggle laughed out loud.

"That's not funny, Sara. Where is Felicity?" Oliver growled and Sara laughed. Apparently the sound of their amusement wasn't helping his mood.

Felicity rolled her eyes at them, trying to suppress her own laugh and took the phone from Sara, turning the speaker off.

"Oliver…" she said, softly, walking away so her friends couldn't hear her conversation.

"What is going on in there?" he asked, his voice still baffled, but softer now that he was talking to her.

"Well, they told me why you left so suddenly, and Sara came up with the idea of a code name for me, so you don't have to say my name while in a mission, even if I really like how you say my name, not only in a mission, but everywhere… I mean, there are some occasions where I specially enjoy you saying it, but I'm getting out of track, so… Can you stop being a jerk and come back already?" Felicity asked and she heard his low chuckle.

"I'm on my way, actually. I just needed a little bit for myself… I put you in danger in there, because I was reckless… I should know better than that…" Oliver said, and Felicity could hear the sound of his bike speeding through Starling's streets.

"I'm not going to discuss with you the highly improbability of anyone knowing who I am through my first name, now if you said Felicity Smoak, now that would be a bigger issue… Maybe I had to change my name…" Felicity said.

For a few moments Oliver was suddenly silent and she heard him whisper something too low for her to hear.

"What did you say?"

"Nothing…" he replied and Felicity knew he was lying. Why would he lie, that was something that she couldn't understand, but, oh well, he was Oliver Queen… he was known for acting a bit out of it sometimes...

His bike stopped and she heard him walking. A few minutes later the door of the foundry opened and she saw him disconnecting his earpiece.

"So, did you already meet our Oracle?" Sara asked and Oliver squeezed her hand.

"Thank you…" he said and the woman smiled back.

"Anytime…" she replied, while Oliver walked towards Felicity.

She kissed him softly and when they parted, punched him in the arm.

"Jerk…" she scoffed, before walking towards her table and grabbing her things.

"I propose we call it a night and go home…" she said and everyone sighed in relieve.

Oliver walked with her to her car, sneaking kisses here and there, until he had her pressed against her car's door and was kissing her deeply and sensually.

"You don't have to worry that much about me… I'm tougher than I look…" Felicity said when he parted from her lips.

"I know… but I hate seeing you in danger… and that's not because you are a woman…" he said quickly, noticing her angry stare. "It's because I love you… and seeing you get hurt… you were already too much hurt through your life… you deserve better than that…" he sighed against her neck and Felicity felt her heart hammer inside her chest.

"Sometimes you are such a moron and then you go and say stuff like that… it's not fair you know? You probably ruined the entire male race for me… just don't say that do Dig and Roy…" Felicity said with a wide smile.

"Well, I can't say I'm sad, it's not really in my best interest to let you think there's someone out there that you should be with, you know?" Oliver said and Felicity saw his boyish smile, the one that she had only seen a handful of times making an appearance.

Felicity smiled back, before turning around and opening her door.

"See you tomorrow…" she said, opening her window to give him a last kiss.

After Felicity's lights disappeared in the night, Oliver pocketed his hands and sighed.

"Felicity Queen has a nice ring…" he said, before turning around and entering Verdant once again.

 


	20. The Last Page

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The ending of Oliver and Felicity's story

_This will be the last chapter of this story, I think it's the perfect place to end it, in a bittersweet tone, but hopeful nonetheless._

* * *

**The Last Page**

* * *

"Daddy, where is grandpa going?" the little boy asked, his small hand inside his father's much bigger one.

"He is going to sleep, son…" Thomas' voice catching in his throat, made the young boy look up from the big brown coffin to his father's face, where he saw big tears running silently through his cheeks.

"When are we going to see him again?" the boy whispered and his father squeezed his hand.

"Not for a long time…" Thomas replied, his eyes glued to the coffin being descended into the ground. With each centimeter, he felt like a part of himself was being buried as well, like a shadow was being cast over his heart, keeping him from seeing anything beyond that hole on the ground.

"That's why you are sad?"

Thomas finally looked down into his son's blue eyes. He could no longer see the coffin, the wood finally hidden by the ground. He crouched in front of the boy and catching him under his armpits pulled him against his chest.

"That's why I'm sad, Robbie…" Thomas whispered, kissing his son's temple. Beside him, his wife held his biceps, grounding him, supporting him in silence.

Thomas could see his sister in front of him, her dark blonde hair shining under the sun, her shoulders sagged, like she was holding a heavy weight. He knew she was tired.

"Can you take care of him?" Thomas asked and his wife nodded, taking the boy from his arms.

Thomas stepped forward, his hand grabbing his sister's shoulder and he squeezed.

She turned around, her eyes red and blotchy, her pale face stricken with tears' tracks.

"Thomas…" she whispered.

"Emilia…" he replied, hugging her. He felt her body fall against his own, her sobs racking her frame. He started sobbing against her, and in that moment they were not a big shot businesswoman and a college teacher, they were once again two kids, holding each other, so they wouldn't break apart, so the memories of their smiling and strong father wouldn't fly away with the wind.

Thomas looked over his sister's shoulder to see the woman right beside them. Her hair was no longer blonde, white now, after so many years of life. Her wrinkles told a story of battles untold, of laughs and crying, of happy and sad moments and the tears now running through them told the story of the love shared between his parents for long and memorable years, now finding the last page of their story together.

"Mom…" Thomas called, his right arm stretching to grab her arm.

Felicity turned around to look at her older son, her eyes far away, held under the pain of losing her husband.

"Tommy…" she whispered, sighing. "He is gone…" and the tears fell quicker.

Thomas stretched his two arms and engulfed the two women, his mother and his sister, against his body, like he wanted to hold them secure against any evil. And suddenly, when his sobs racked his frame once again, it was no longer him holding Felicity and Emilia, it was Felicity holding her children, rocking them like when they were babies and couldn't sleep. She shushed them whispered words of love and care, words they had heard for years from both their parents, now only evoked by one of them.

"Everything will be alright…" Felicity whispered, kissing Thomas and Emilia's heads. "We will be alright…"

But they wouldn't… not like they previously were, when Oliver Queen was still alive, when his old, but still commanding figure, even with 83 years, sat behind his mahogany desk, signing contracts or telling his grandchildren stories about a masked hero.

Felicity could feel the rest of the family behind her, the grandchildren old enough to come, eyeing her apprehensively. She was the smiling grandma, the computer expert, the cool grandma that all her friends loved… but now, they were seeing her in a new light, for the first time, they were seeing her without grandpa Oliver, they were seeing her crying, they were seeing she was frail like the rest of the world…

"Felicity…" someone whispered beside her and the woman turned to see an anguished Thea and a stoic-looking Roy, that was trying to hide his red eyes, right behind her. She couldn't remember if they were there since the beginning of the ceremony. The last few hours were a haze inside her mind, dark memories shadowing her normally acute mind. But if there was one person that she could be sure was right behind her, guarding her back, was the oldest friend Oliver and she had.

"John…" she whispered, and she felt his hand squeeze her elbow. "The mission is over…" she whispered and felt him move behind her.

"Yes, the mission is over…" Dig whispered back. He still had the green rose, that he intended to put over Oliver's grave, inside his fist, feeling the soft petals against his thumb.

When people started dispersing, eyeing the quickly changing sky with apprehension, Felicity hold her ground and stood beside her husband's grave.

"We should go inside, mom…" Emilia said, tugging her arm, but Felicity resisted.

"I just want to be alone for a few minutes, please…" she asked, no longer crying, kissing her daughter's cheek softly.

She saw the woman back off and walk away, her older son grabbing her hand and her husband squeezing the other one. Thomas stood behind her for a few more minutes until he walked away as well.

"Felicity…" Thea called, hugging her. Felicity hugged her back, kissed her hair, and saw her walk away with the support of Roy and one of their daughters.

"You too, John…" Felicity whispered, and she heard her friend sigh.

"He would be proud of you…" Diggle said and before Felicity could ask what for he was already walking away.

Felicity felt her knees give up under her, sinking into the freshly dug ground.

"Oliver…" she whispered, taking something from inside her black jacket.

A dark green mask appeared between her fingers.

"I miss you… it's been 48 hours, but it looks like a lifetime without you… How could you do this? Leave me behind? You know how I hate when you go all gallantry on me… Couldn't you wait for me? Just a bit longer… we still had so much to do… you never finished telling that last story to Olivia about how the queen saved the masked hero from a madman… you promised you would tell her, Oliver!" Felicity said, punching the ground with anger. "You promised!" she said, her tears falling once again. She felt the mask inside her fists and her sobs stopped. "See? You are making me lose my poise, just like you used to! You jerk…" Felicity whispered, a sad, broken smile over her lips. "I love you so much… and I always will… just wait for me a bit longer, okay? Don't go all playboy Queen without me! Your back can't take it anymore… And Sara, if you are hearing, you will have to tell me everything when I meet you guys!"

Felicity cleaned her face quickly, and approaching the fresh soil, she shoved a the right amount of it aside, put the mask inside the hole and tuck it once again, making sure it was well hidden.

When she rose once again, rain started falling. However, Felicity stood there, eyeing the rain drops being swollen by the earth.

"Grandma…" she heard calling and turning around she saw Robbie beside John, with a big umbrella, waiting for her.

"What did you put in there?" the young boy asked and Felicity noted Dig's worried look. The older man knew exactly what the object was, even if he was too far away to really see anything.

"Did I ever tell you about the time the Arrow saved this city from an army of super soldiers?" Felicity asked, her hand squeezing her grandson's.

"An army of super soldiers?!" the boy wondered with an awed voice and beside them, Diggle shook his head with mirth.

"Yes, it was a sight to be held…" Felicity said, excitedly, while Robbie drank every word that poured from her lips, while walking towards their home.

Felicity Meghan Smoak-Queen lived precisely thirteen months without Oliver Jonas Queen.

When her children found her, she had a smile over her lips, and while Emilia and Thomas hugged each other and cried together, they knew that, for the last thirteen months their mother lived without half of her heart. Now, that heart was once again whole.

* * *

**I hope you enjoyed the ride as well as I did, it was a memorable one for me. Arrow has definitely one of the best fandom out there, and I'm proud I'm part of it, especially in my first multi-chapter story in this universe, where are such amazing, perfect stories already, and where I received such sweet hearty welcome from all of you.  
**

 


End file.
